Baby:

If Cordelia doesn't get out of my face, I'm gonna kill her.  I'm gonna reach out with my perfectly sculpted nails and rip her fucking face off.

"I like the nails, Baby.  They look good.  Dru always kept hers like that.  You don't mind that, do you?  All long and red like blood.  You'll keep them all long and fancy for me, won't you, luv?  You're so good, pet, always do whatever I want.  Yes, *whatever* I want.  Mm, now that has possibilities.  Come here."

No more possibilities.  All gone now.  No possibilities ever again.

I want to kill her.  Standing there so secure in her ignorance.  The world died and she didn't even notice.  And I want her to die, too.  I could do it.  Can't she see it?  I could rip her face right off and watch her eyes while I do it.  Kill her where she stands.  Paint my fingernails with her blood.  Make them redder than the polish I'm wearing.  They'd be so pretty.

When did I realize blood could be beautiful?  When did I first want to kill something?  Three years ago?  Four?  The first time I saw Spike hunting?  It was so much fun some nights.  The killing.  The blood.  The screams.  I bet Cordy would scream nicely.  Make me feel all warm.  I want to hurt her so much.

When did I become so violent? 

"What have we here, then?  My grandchild shouldn't leave you out all alone.  There are all sorts of monsters out at night, girl.  I mean look at me; I'm the worst monster you'll ever see, sweetheart."

Oh, yeah, Angelus.  He'd pretty much turn the Pope violent. 

"Get out of the fucking way, Cordelia.  I'm going up those stairs and pull sweet Angel out of whoever he's in and have a little talk with him."

Oo, Cordy turned all purple.  She's gonna yell.  Ha!  I made Cordy mad enough to yell.  Yay me.

"Angel's not here.  Now get out!  March your rude, skanky ass out of here right now!"

Rude?  Me?  Well yeah.  Hello!  Sleeping with the evil undead here! 

The *beautiful* evil undead.

"Want to see if I can make you scream, Baby?"

Oh God.  Don't think of that.  Don't think of…

"One last time, cheerleader.  Where the fuck is Angelus?" This time I actually reach for her.  Maybe I'll just slam her into a wall; I don't really want to hurt her.  Much.  I actually like Cordelia.  Everything is just red around the edges today.  Yesterday.  And the day before that.  Has been ever since …

My beautiful, evil undead.

"I love it when you scream my name, pet."

Oh God.  Don't think of that.  Don't think.  If you think you'll cry.  Scream.  Kill something. 

Well, I'm gonna kill something anyhow.  Just have to focus on killing the right thing. 

"Want to go hunting with me, babe?  Watch your Daddy kill the big, nasty beasties?"

My precious, beautiful, evil undead.

Mine.

Oh God.  Where the hell are you, Angelus?  Have to do this now.  Won't be able to do this if I don't find you soon.  "Angelus!  You sorry, no good bastard, where…."

"What the hell is going on down here?"

There.  Finally.  That voice.  Angelus.  There he is asking Cordy something about what all the noise is.  What noise?  My head is buzzing too much to hear anything except my heart screaming for blood.

"Hello, Angelus." 

"Don't call me that."

Don't call you 'Angelus'?  I'll call you anything I feel like, dickhead.  Call you 'Angel'?  Not in this lifetime, Dead Boy.  I hate you.

"Looks like we don't have to worry about the Pouf.  He all soulful again.  It's all 'Goodbye Angelus; hello Angel'.  Mind you, while I may hate Angelus, luv, I can't say I'm all warm and fuzzy about Angel, either.  They're both a pain in the ass." 

Angel.  Angel doesn't exist.  There's only Angelus.  Anyone who thinks differently is a Goddamned idiot.  They aren't two different people.  It's another of Angelus' little mind control games.  There's only one person and I hate him body, demon, and soul. 

It's just Angelus calling himself Angel. 

Angel.  Right.  There he stands in all his dark and broody glory. 

Where were you, Angelus?  Where were you when he needed you?

My beloved, precious, beautiful undead.  I'll make it right.  I promise.  I swear.  Oh good Lord, I love you.  I will make it right.

"The great brooding Pouf himself.  Thinks his soul makes him better than the rest of us.  Thinks we should all be guilt-ridden about doing what comes naturally.  Think he's bleeding Captain Avenger.  Thinks you have to have a soul to fight the good fight.  Prick.  He can just sod off and leave me the hell alone.  I don't need Angel.  Right, Baby?  I don't need Peaches.  Just need you." 

No, baby, you needed Angel.  You needed me.  And God help us all, neither of us was there. 

Don't think of that.  Don't think.  If you think you'll cry.  You'll scream.  You'll kill something. 

I need Angel so much right now.

"Angelus."  At least I manage to get that much out without screaming.  Now let me just get through the next five minutes. 

God, that's all I ask, okay?  Give me five minutes.  I'm not much on the prayer thing.  Like I said, sleeping with the evil undead and all.  But let me get this out and I'll buy candles for St.  Louis Cathedral for a year.  Five minutes is all I ask.  Let me get through the next five minutes without screaming. 

"Make you scream, Baby.  Love to hear you scream my name, pet."  God, I love him.

"Make you scream, girl.  Make you feel like you're ripping your own throat out screaming for my boy to come save you.  I love to hear you scream his name."  I hate him.

Don't think.  Stop it. 

Clinch my teeth.  I can still talk with my teeth clinched.  Come on, girl.  Spit it out.  Don't look him in the eye.  Don't.  Look at his chest.  Cordy got him to wear something not black.  A nice, dark green, silk shirt.  Look at the nice, green silk shirt.

"Don't worry, dove, I'll buy you new sheets.  Silk sheets, hey?  What do you think?  Green?  Make your eyes glow.  You'll look frigging delicious on green silk.  Bloody good enough to eat."

Breathe.  You can do this.  Have to.  Jesus!  Get out of the way, Cordelia.  I'm not gonna hurt His Broodiness.  Well, maybe just a little.  I hurt; he should hurt.  Move Cordy.  I don't have time for this shit.  Push her to one side.  Don't throw her down the nice marble staircase.  Can't throw her down the nice marble staircase regardless of how much I want to. 

Need to kill something really soon now.

"I need to talk to you.  We need to talk.  And then we need to see Dru.  And, and then you have to do something for me."

Oh, don't give me that look.  If I want to talk to you, then, by God, I'll talk to you.  "You fucking owe me, you bastard." 

Good.  That sounded all growlly and bitchy and not like I'm going to break down if I really look at him.  You damn well better tell me 'all right', damn you.  Okay.  I can do this.  I can say the words.  No, I can't.  If I say them, they're not a nightmare; they're real.  I don't want them to be real.  I don't want the words.  Don't want it to be real.  Want to wake up.  But I won't wake up.  I haven't, not for weeks now.  One long, endless nightmare.  Won't matter if I say the words.  I won't wake up anyway.  So just say it.

Wait.  Too late.  Movement up above where we're standing.  Black and red froth like the edge of a carnal wave.  Delicate Death dressed in lace and velvet.  Fragile destruction gracefully descending the staircase. 

Drusilla.

I waited too long.

Don't look.  If you look, you'll cry.  Wail forever. 

Oh, shit.  I looked.  Big, midnight ocean eyes looking right into mine; right into my soul.

"My dark princess could always see right through everything.  You can't hide anything from Dru.  Knew I loved the Slayer before I did.  Knew it all.  That's why she left me.  But my dark princess still loves me; she's just not in love with me anymore.  That's what I have you for, right, ducks?  You'll always be in love with me."

Always.

She knows.  Wasn't supposed to find out this way.  Supposed to tell Angelus first.  He could tell her.  Soften it.  Not that it can be softened.  She knows.  Her eyes, I can see she knows.  My hell exists inside Drusilla's eyes. 

Don't cry Dru.  Oh God.  Dru, don't cry.  Don't.  Please.

Don't scream Dru.  If you scream, I'll never keep it together.  Oh god, oh god, oh god.  No.  No!  I feel it clawing up from inside me.  Eyes stinging.  Mouth filling with saliva all sour with pain.  Dru's pain.  My pain.  Pain eternal.  I can't stop it.  Not this time.  My beloved undead…

"Love to hear you scream my name, pet."

Angel:

What the hell?  Now she's set Dru off.  Fuck.  I don't need this.  I really, really don't need this.  What's wrong with Dru?  Why is she howling?  Fucking bitch has Dru hysterical now.  Great.  Just great.  What is Dru doing?  That sound.  Cuts right through me. 

Keening. 

My mother made that sound when my baby brother died.

The other woman, his woman.  His consort.  She's making that same sound.  Wailing, gut wrenching wailing. 

I heard women make that sound when I ripped the heads off their children or … their … lovers.

Oh Christ.  Holy Mary, Mother of God.

Spike's dead.

Chapters: | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 |

Chapter 2

Angel:

Spike's dead.

Can't stop my hands reaching for her.  Grabbing her so tight it'll leave bruises.  Shake her.  Make her stop howling.  I probably shook her too hard.  Hard enough to give her whiplash.  Hard enough to snap her neck.  Red hair flying everywhere.  Is that color supposed to be attractive?  "Stop it!" Another hard shake.  "Stop it.  Now!" Want to hurt her so badly.  The demon's screaming for it.  Wants to hurt her again.  So hard to control it.  To push it down.  "What happened?  Who killed Spike?"

That did it.  Saying his name.  Silence except for Dru.  Can't think with you caterwauling, Drusilla.  Shut up!  Shut up before I have to shake you, too.  Good, Wesley's here.  He can take care of Dru.  Get her calmed down.  Get her to stop that god-awful noise.  Just whining now.  Good boy, Wes.  You'll make a damn fine son-in-law.  Keep my crazy daughter quiet.  That's all I ask.  Keep her quiet and keep her where I don't have to see her. 

Now.  Got to get Spike's bitch focused.  That's it, girl.  Show me what you're made of.  Trembling all over but quiet now.  Where's the stone-cold bitch?  Come on; I know you're in there.  The one that swore to kill me slowly.  The one that beat the shit out of me with a sledgehammer.  Where are you?  Another shake should do it.  Maybe a slap or two.  Love to slap you, girl.  Hard enough to split your lip.  Yeah, love to make you bleed.  Make you scream again.  Make you beg me not to hurt you again.  So good.  Would feel so good to hurt you.  To bleed you.  To taste you this time. 

No.  Can't… won't hit her.  Won't.  Shake her instead.

Oh yeah.  Right there.  Didn't like that did you.  There's my boy's bitch.  Face like stone.  But eyes like stone, too.  Blank.  Empty.  Where's the fire?  Come on.  I know you're still in there.  Another shake should do it.  Oh yes.  There she is.  Eyes like blazing daggers.  That's my girl.  Full of piss and vinegar.  Full of hate. 

Now, get your mouth to work, woman.  Never had trouble with that before.  Got a mouth like my grandchild.

My dead grandchild. 

Not possible.  He's too annoying to die.  Spike can't be dead.  Not until I say so.  Not until I kill him.  He's mine to kill. 

He's mine period.

Baby:

"They killed him."  There.  I said it.  Said it without screaming.  Said it through teeth clinched so hard they ache but I said it.  I *can* do this.  "They took him.  And they tortured him.  And they killed him."  Fucking bastards.

Who?  Well, now.  That's the question, isn't it?  "I don't know.  That's why I fucking need you."  Finish it.  Breathe once.  Again.  There.  Finish it.  "Doers were hired muscle; brought in just for the occasion.  But they didn't get out of town fast enough.  We got them.  They talked." 

And screamed.  And prayed.  And begged for death.  Two of them are still begging.

I want them to hurt for weeks. 

I don't need to worry though, my boys will see to that. 

"But they were just hired.  I want the one that did the hiring.  I want the motherfucking slime."  Breathe.  Stay together.  "He wrote out a script.  Dictated just what he wanted the enforcers to do.  It was sick.  Worthy of anything you would've come up with, Angelus."  Gotta get the dig in where you can.  Keeps the mind off what they did to him.  Won't think of that.

Can't think of that.  Oh God.  Scream building up.  Push it down.  Time for that later.  Kill now.  Cry later.

"Fucker messed up and made a production out of it.  Sent me his ring, his duster, and a FUCKING VIDEO!" Liked the look on his face when I slapped the DVD into his chest.  "Enjoy it."  Welcome to the 21st century, old son.  Better torture though the wonders of the digital revolution.  Bet you would have liked to have filmed yours, hmm, Angel-baby?  "You won't see anything like that on pay-for-view."

Think of the look on Angelus' face.  Don't think of what's on the disc.  Time for that later, too. 

"I want you to help me find who hired them, who wrote the script.  I want pain.  I want blood.  I want screams.  I want that bastard to hurt like…" Say it!  "Like Spike hurt."

He didn't even flinch.  He doesn't care.  Sodding prick.  Some sire he is.  There are rules, damn it!  They off your child, you off them.  Simple rules.  Makes the world go round.  Keeps insanity at bay.  Oh, wait, you like insanity.  Probably jerk off thinking of Dru in a padded room. 

Well, I know how to punch your buttons, asshole.  "I don't know the buyer, but I know the middleman.  The middleman can name the buyer.  And you can help me get to the middleman; they're friends of yours.  Little law firm named Wolfram & Hart." 

Oh yeah.  Goodbye, Angel.  Hello, Angelus! 

Angel:

Demon's screaming now.  Wants blood.  Wants pain.  Me, too. 

Wolfram & Hart took my boy. 

Don't worry, girl, they'll pay.  Oh yeah.  You can bet your sweet ass on that.  You'll get your blood and pain and screams.  He was mine, damn it!  No one fucks with what's mine.  Dru may have turned him but, by God, I sired him.  He's mine.  I'll kill them.  Slowly.  They'll hurt.  Pain ten fold to his.  I promise.

What's she nattering on about now?

"I want your help to take them down." 

Guess she missed the telegram saying I'm on board that bandwagon already. 

"Find the buyer and I'll take him down myself.  Just help me find the buyer."  She's pulled a small knife from somewhere and sliced the palm of her left hand.  "In the name of his blood, your blood, I ask it."

The lobby's suddenly filled with people.  No, not people.  Vampires.  There must be a dozen vampires kneeling in the atrium.  Kneeling?  All showing bloody gashes on wrist or hand or breast.

"In the name of our blood, we ask it, sire of our sire's sire." 

In unison, no less!  Well someone taught them the ritual and some manners.  Not Spike.  He never cared about tradition.  Must have learned from the bitch.  She reads.  Always calling Wes about some damn thing or the other.  Into the whole tradition thing.  Tradition.  Ha!  By tradition and right I should lick the blood from her hand, take her here in front of them all, and declare myself their new master.  Demon's screaming for me to do it.  The Devil himself knows I want to.  I want to hurt her.  Humiliate her.  Show them all that I'm still the fucking master vampire around here.  Sex and blood right here in public. 

I can just imagine the looks on Wes' and Cordelia's faces.  That would remind them just who and what I am. 

But I won't.  Can't.  Won't frighten them that way regardless of how tempting it is.

Snatch her wrist.  Hold her arm up in the air.  High enough she has to stand on tip toe.  High enough it has to hurt.  Turn the slashed palm toward them.  "It will be done.  In the name of our blood."  Pull her higher, her feet dangling inches above the floor now.  "They killed Spike, they'll die."

Baby:

Thank you, Jesus.  Thank you, God.  Thank you, Angelus.

Legs won't work.  Can't stand now that he isn't holding me up.  That's okay.  I'll just sit here in a heap at his feet and fall apart now.  Sweet relief's taken all my strength.  Give me a minute.  Just let me sit here and cradle my arm.  Shoulder hurts.  Pain feels so good.  Nice clean physical pain.  Beats the hell out of the other kind.  Just gonna sit here and enjoy the pain for a while.  Nice pain.  Thanks, Angelus.  You do pain really well.

What?  Who?  Oh.  Dru's arms around me.  Holding me.  Rocking me softly.  That feels good, too.  Thought she was still crying on Wesley.  She is still crying only it's on me now.  Shirt feels wet from her tears.  Wes is holding her, too.  Holding us both.  You're a good man, Wes.  How'd you end up in this fucked up, dysfunctional family?

Poor Dru.  It's okay, honey.  "I'll make it all right, Dru.  I promise."  Promise you like I promised him.  I'll make it right or die trying.

Okay.  Can't do this now.  Too close to crying.  Have to stop now.  Enough.  Time for the next stage.  Still don't think I can stand up.  Come on.  We're on the downhill slide now, girl.  Get it together.  Let me up, Dru.  Oh, that feels nice.  Dru's tongue licking the blood off my hand.  Feels so good.  Feels so right.  Nothing feels so good as a vampire's tongue licking my blood.  Need it.  Want it.  Won't be able to live without it.  Won't be able to live without….  Stop it.  Stop it right now. 

That way lies Madness….

Be as mad as Dru if I don't stop.  Madder than Dru.  Crazier than a betsy bug.  Half way there already.

On my feet now with Dru's help.  She's so strong.  I keep forgetting how strong she is because she's so tiny, so frail.  So dainty.  So mad. 

"In the name of our blood."  Soft voice.  Eyes clear, focused.  Here with me for a change.  Not off in some illusion world.  One of her moments of clarity.  A sane Dru is a terrifying thing.  She's offering me her wrist now.  Tiny gash there.  Mm, tastes good.  All cool and, well, Dru.  Hint of madness.  Hint of Wes.  Hint of Spike.  Oh God.  Gonna cry now.  Stop it.  William the Bloody's consort does not cry in front of the minions.  Scream and rail but never cry.  Isn't done.  Never gonna happen. 

"Have to show them who's boss, Baby, else they'll run right over you.  And when vamps run over you human types, you humans don't tend to get up again.  You have to be badder than the baddest of them, pet.  Be the fucking Bitch Queen of all time.  You can do that can't you, Baby?  Be the bitch for me?"

Only ever for you.  Always yours.

Dru tastes so good.  So much like you. 

"Ewwww!"

"Shut up, cheerleader."  This is tradition.  And have some respect for the dead here!  You disrespect him and I'll kill you.  Cut your tongue out and feed it to you.  "What?  Not like you haven't done the same, Cordy."

"I never!  Ick."

Huh?

"Yeah right.  You've been Angelus' old lady for what?  Two, three years?  And you never?  Yeah sure."  Self-righteous little hypocrite.  Okay for her to suck on Angelus but Dru giving me her blessing is icky?  Fuck you.  Lick the last drop of Dru's blood off my under lip.  I have better things to worry about than Cheerleader's delicate sensibilities.  Should've ripped her fucking face off when I had chance.  May rip it off yet.

"Alright then."  Face the Pride.  Let them know that Baby is still running this show.  Got the Sire's blessing.  Got the Grandsire's buy in.  Got the muscle we need.  Baby's gonna take care of everything.  Just like always. 

"Everyone knows their jobs.  Get to it.  Jean, get the magic users set up with Wes.  Marie, see to the humans.  Beau help Jerry with the computers."

As long as I keep moving, I won't have to think. 

Chapters: | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 |

Chapter 3

Angel:

Memories.  So many memories.  My boy William.  Spike.  Still can't believe he's gone.  Expect him to walk in and mouth off about something.  Anything.  Everything.  God, the boy has a mouth on him. 

Had.  No mouth now.  No anything now.  Just dust.  God, that mouth!  That face!  Can't be dust.  Can't be… gone.  He was the most alive person I've ever seen, being dead not withstanding.  Always moving, always talking.  Silent now.  Never rail at me about anything again.

Shit!

Demon wants to just howl and tear.  Rend flesh, break bones.  Shred and rip and destroy.  I swear; he'll get his chance.  Mine, damn it!  He was mine.

What's all this?  Got distracted.  What's going on?  Spike's girl trying to get my attention.  Hand outstretched but still a good three inches from my arm.  Can't bring herself to touch me still.

"We need a place to stay out of the sun tomorrow and room for some computers."

"Fine.  Whatever.  There's space on the upper floors.  No one goes near my people." 

She's giving me that 'Duh!' look.  Oh, and an eye roll.  Now that was attractive.  Particularly in a woman her age.  Spike needs to slap her around more often. 

Guess he can't now.  Damn. 

Of course, I won't mind doing it for him.

One of Spike's minion's asking her something.  He's acting like she's the dominate child in the clan or something.  Can read it all over him.  It's in his body language, his eyes.  That's just… wrong.  Vampires aren't sub to humans.  There, another one's doing it.  What the hell has Spike been raising down in those swamps?  I *so* don't want to know.

Oh Jesus.  Cordy's giving me that 'you are in so much trouble, mister' look.  Fuck.  Don't know if I have the energy to sooth her feathers right now.  Maybe I should send her away till this is over.  Conner, Fred and Gunn, too.  Wes won't leave Drusilla.  I don't want him to.  Don't think I can deal with Dru if she starts howling again, not without snapping her neck.

Come on, Cordy.  Let's go in the office and get this over with.

Angel:

Well, that was a wasted effort.  Should have known Cordy wouldn't leave.  Won't even listen.  Stubborn woman.  Gotta love her even when you want to kill her.

What the hell?  I was only gone half an hour.  What has that bitch done to my hotel?  It looks like some sort of … I don't know what.  Boxes of shit everywhere.  Cables and wires and Powers know what else.  Chaos.

Where is she?  There.  Growl got her attention.  "What the hell is all this?"

Don't roll your eyes at me, bitch.  I'll pluck 'em out. 

"Weapons."  Okay, big crates in the corner.  Weapons I can understand.  "Cables for the satellite hook ups for the computers.  We put the dishes on the roof."  Computers?  What is this?  Mission Impossible?  Oh, she read that look.

"We're gonna hack their system.  Take out their security before we go in.  Raid the files.  Take down whatever we can.  Gets them off kilter."

Forgot she was into that whole Silicon Valley thing before she got into Spike.  She was some business exec dot com geek type.  Okay.  I can deal with that.

"Blood for the vampires; food for the humans."  Boxes and coolers near the office. 

She read that look, too.  "Got some magic users to work on the guards around their building.  Should short out most of their wards and what not.  Set up some extra protection for us.  Already got us hidden from their clairvoyants.  Figured you didn't have food and stuff for a couple dozen humans and vampires."

Growl again.  Feels good to growl.  Problem is she isn't any more impressed with it than Cordy is.  We'll see how impressed she is when I rip her head off and drink from the stub of that lily-white neck.  She'll be impressed then. 

Down boy.

"Sounds like you have everything planned.  What the hell did you need me for?" Why are you even messing with me, girl?  Definitely growl again.

Finally looks me in the eye.  Think it's the first time tonight she's managed that.  "Wolfram & Hart isn't afraid of me.  But you have them pissing their pants at the mention of your name.  You scare the shit out of them.  That's what I need you for."

Fear.  Oh, I can do that.  The fuckers have no idea how afraid they're gonna be.  Can feel my face stretching into a smile.

"Rooms are ready, petite.  Will you bed with us?" It's another one of the minions, children?, doing that submission thing.  Gives me the creeps.

"Yes, I'll sleep with children, dearest.  Humans got everything they need?  Mama Claire okay, too?"

"Yes, Maman." 

What sort of a look is that he's giving her now? 

"Baby?  Have you eaten?"

Vampires don't look at humans like that.  Well, vampires that aren't me.  All caring and concerned.

"Later, Jean."  She pronounces it the French way.  "I'll eat later."

"Will you sleep later, too, heh?  You sleep last night?  Or the night before?"

It's a different minion this time.  All caring and worried, too.  What in the name of God has Spike been raising in Louisiana?!?  Vampires that act all caring and subservient to a human?  Makes my demon's skin crawl.

"René, not now, sweet."  Petting him!  God, she's petting him.  I'm going to be sick.  Does Wesley know about this?  He's down there a couple of times a year.  Why hasn't he told me something this unnatural was going on?  He's in so much trouble. 

Disgusting.

Too grossed out to follow what they've been saying.  Looks like she's satisfied with whatever it was.  Clapping her hands.  Getting everyone's attention.  Oh goody, announcement time. 

"Alright, looks like we're done with Stage Two." 

She has the stages of her plan numbered?  She has stages?  She has a plan?  I'm worried.

"By this time tomorrow, we should have what we need.  Right now, we need to eat, rest, and get set up for tomorrow night.  If you need anything, get with Jean or Beau.  Humans need to get some rest.  It was a long trip.  The rest of you, if you don't have a job here…"

Oh, I don't like the look on her face.  I really don't. 

"Let's go hunting!"

Mass scramble for the weapons chests. 

"What are you doing?  Are you crazy?" I really am going to have to rip her head off.  "You're not hunting in my town."

"Don't worry, 'Gelus.  We won't hunt in your neighborhood.  We'll hunt across town."  She's smiling a particularly nasty smile.  Makes me want to slap it off her face.  "Besides, you know we have rules.  We don't take innocents.  We don't mess with the cops.  We don't cause waves."

Crazy woman.  She's as loony as Drusilla.  Since when do vampires hunt by the rules?  Squeeze her arm hard enough to make her wince.  That'll leave a bruise or five.  One for each finger. 

Mark her.  Want to leave my mark on her. 

There's a hand on my arm, a gentle voice in my ear.  Wes.  "Let it go, Angel.  I've seen them hunt.  It will be fine."  There's truth in his dark eyes. 

All right then.  "If you say so, Wes."  Let her go.  Push her a little.  Enough that she stumbles.

If looks could kill, I'd be dust.  I think I pissed her off.

"And we don't take shit off of anybody."  Teeth bared in a snarl that would be impressive if she had fangs.  As is, it's just sort of … cute.  I think I'll smile at her.

Yep.  Pissed her off.  That was fun.  Wonder if I can do it again.  Pull her back to me.  She winces again.  New set of bruises coming up, babe.  No twinges of guilt for hurting her.  None at all.  After all, she's a psychopathic, murdering little bitch.  Spike taught her well.  "You better not do anything that I won't like, girl."

There's that look again.  The sneering one I want to carve off her insolent face with a dull knife. 

"Then why don't you join us?  Keep us out of trouble.  Show the boys and girls how the Scourge of Europe does it.  Oh, forgot.  That's not your gig anymore.  You're not into the hard rocking thing.  Now you're all soft and soulful, doing the broody blues thing.  Pale imitation of a real vampire… Really makes me miss Spike."

My hand's wrapped around her jaw now.  Squeezing.  I could crush it easily.  Or snap her stubborn neck.  Both options sound so good.  Want to hear her bones snap.  Feel them grind under my fingers. 

Tug on my wrist all you want to, honey, you can't move me an inch. 

I could break her jaw without even thinking about it.  Too easy.  Lean down.  Mouth next to her ear.  Can hear her breathing speed up.  Smell the fear start up under the rage and hatred.  Smells so good.  Inhale that fragrance.  Flowery shampoo, fear, rage, and hatred.  Mm.  Someone needs to bottle that perfume. 

Exhale against her skin.  Just remembered you should be afraid of me, didn't you, Baby.  Forgot what I can do to you?  Forgot what it feels like?  Need a reminder, bitch?  I can do that.  Lips barely touching her ear now.  She can't flinch away.  I'm holding her jaw too tightly.  I'll let the demon play just a little.  Rest my other hand on the curve of her hip.  Softly, like an embrace.  Heart rate just sped up, too.  "A master doesn't have to prove anything to the minions, girl.  Just has to keep his pet bitches in line.  That's not hard at all.  You remember how I do that, don't you, sweetheart.  Remember?  We had such a lovely time.  Keeping you in line would be so much fun.  I'd enjoy it."  Keep my voice soft and gentle so that the fear just goes up and up.  Delicious.  "Because in the end, baby doll, you may be Spike's consort but you're my bitch."  Let my tongue barely flick her ear and my hand barely caress her hip.  "Don't forget it or I'll remind you just what that means.  And I'll do it right in front of your little minions."  Push her away.

That felt good. 

So much rage on her face.  Makes her look… good.  Not as good as when she's screaming for me to not hurt her, but still good.  Someone's gonna get the shit kicked out of them tonight.  She's gonna have to work all that rage out of her system.  Wonder if she still has that damned hammer or that axe.  Forgot about the axe for a while there.  Should have squeezed her harder, maybe nibbled her earlobe, just for the axe.

She wants to scream at me.  Muscles are twitching in her jaws and I can almost hear her teeth grinding together.  So lovely.  Oh yeah, someone definitely has an ass-kicking coming.  If she could manage it, it would be me.  But she can't.  I love it. 

She's shouting to her unnatural minions now.  "Come on.  Let's find some fuckers that need killing." 

I listen to the whoops as they whirl out into the night, deadly leaves borne on a dark wind of my making.  I suddenly have a very bad feeling about this.

Chapters: | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 |

Chapter 4

Angel:

Okay, Axel Rose howling at 3:00 am is not my idea of fun.  Not that I was sleeping but Cordy was.  "Turn that shit off."

"What?  'Appetite for Destruction' not your thing, Angelus?" Sneering, amused voice.  Spike's woman.  His Baby.

There she is.  Jesus.  Half covered in blood.  Human blood.  I can smell it from here.  It's not hers.  Makes me shiver.  Smells so good. 

Hate her.  Hate her for standing there covered in human blood that she can't even *begin* to appreciate.  Hate her for being human when I'm not.  Hate her for not being a vampire when I am.  Just… hate her.

"I said turn it off!"

Silence.  One of her minions had the sense to obey even if she didn't.  Good boy.  Recognizes dangerous authority when he hears it.  Wish I could say the same for her.  Petulance does not become you, darling.  Forgot your earlier lesson already?  I can rectify that.  No problem.  That's right, sweetheart.  I just dragged your ass into my office and slammed the door in the face of your pet vampires.  And there's not shit you can do about it.

"What have you done?" She knows what I'm talking about.  Cocky little slut. 

"Ended a gang war.  They were gonna kill each other any way.  Might as well help them do it." 

Little bitch is smirking.  She really is a psychopath.  "How many?  How many people did you kill?"

"Me personally?  I don't know.  A couple?  Maybe three.  The blood didn't go to waste.  Well, not most of it anyway."

Damn her.

"All of us together?  I don't know.  Dozen?  Enough that no one's hungry." 

No remorse at all.  Fucking little psycho bitch!  Oops.  Did I say that last out loud?

"Don't worry.  It was nothing like you used to do, Angelus.  Town's still standing isn't it?  Back in the good old days you'd have burned the whole thing down by now, right?" Insolent smile firmly in place now.  I hate her.  I really do.  "Would one night have done it or would it have taken longer for something the size of L.A.?  A week?  A couple?  I think a week should do it.  Maybe when this is over, I'll see how long it takes to turn L.A.  into a ash heap."

My fingers digging into her bicep.  I like that little wince she does.  I like it a lot.  "When this is over, you're leaving.  This is my town and I don't want you in it.  Not now, not ever."

Answer is a shrug.  "Fine.  There are other towns that will burn just as well." 

"No.  No other towns.  This ends when we finish with Wolfram and Hart and get the bastard who killed Spike.  You'll get your revenge, girl.  We'll make them regret what happened.  They'll regret ever hearing of William the Bloody."

Smell of undiluted rage filling the room.  Combined with the blood it's a heady combination. 

I feel drunk.

"The *world* is going to regret what happened to William the Bloody.  I'm going to write Spike's name in blood and fire across the continent."  Part of the hate directed at me.  "I'm going to give him a proper memorial since his grandsire won't."

So that's what this is about.  Time to remind you who's the boss, Baby.  "You're not going to do anything, girl.  You're going back to New Orleans and I don't want to ever even hear about you and your sick little family again.  I mean it.  Not one word."  This is your only warning, girl.

Hard golden eyes looking up at me, uncowed.  "Oh, you're gonna hear plenty.  I'm going to rain down fire and destruction the likes of which hasn't been seen since the Scourge walked Europe.  You can't stop me.  You don't own me."

"That's where you're wrong, sweetheart."  Have her trapped against the wall now.  "I've owned you ever since I fucked you in that alley." 

That hurt.  Got a good right arm there.  Not bad for a human at all.  My jaw even stings a little bit.  But I can slap back, girl.  And do it a lot harder than you can. 

She looks good on the floor.  Stay down there and I won't have to hurt you any more.

"Motherfucking bastard."

Blood trickling from her mouth now.  Beautiful. 

"You'll never own me, you fucking son of a bitch.  I'll kill you first."

She's standing.  Couldn't leave it alone, could you, Baby.  You're just like Spike.  You never know when to stop.  I can smell her blood.  It calls to me.  Everything about her calls to the demon.  He wants her so badly.  He wants the domination and the blood.  I know what she did with Spike.  All the things she did with Spike.  Blood play.  Sex and blood and violence.  Want that, too.  It radiates from her like dark light.  Been so long.  Waves of sex and blood and violence reaching out, singing to me.  Need it so bad.

Her tongue darting out to lick her own blood from the corner of her mouth.  Oh fuck.  That looks good.  Yeah, I'm hard now.

That's right, honey.  Give it your best shot.  Come on.  "That the best you got?" Try and hit me again.  I want you to. 

No.  I'm not going to do this.  It's not worth it.  I can still walk away from it.  Push her away.  "Get out of here.  Go to bed.  We'll talk in the morning."

She's not leaving.  Shit. 

"You're pathetic.  Absolutely pathetic."  Lips curled in derision.  "You know, you were right earlier.  What do I need you for?  Wolfram and Hart aren't going to be afraid of you."  Girl has scorn down pat; I'll give her that.  "The great Angelus.  Pfffff.  If you go in there looking like that, they'll laugh.  You're too concerned with brooding over the state of your precious soul to be of any use to me or any one else.  You're too worried about 'the Good Fight'.  Well, Spike did just as much for the Fight and he did it without a soul.  Tell you what; let's call this a done deal.  I'll take care of Wolfram and Hart.  I'll take care of Spike's murderers.  And you can just fuck off.  You'd just be a liability.  You don't have what it takes anymore."

She's leaving.  I feel so relieved. 

I feel so disappointed. 

She stills, her hand resting on the doorknob, not looking at me.  "They came after your kid, right?  Wolfram and Hart?  So how come their building is still standing?  How come any of them are still breathing?  If you won't even stand up for your kid, why was I stupid enough to think you'd stand up for Spike."

Don't even *think* of Conner, bitch.  You're not fit to even know he exists.  Slamming you against the wall is the least I can do.  Oh God, I want to hurt her.  My hand wants to close around her throat.  Wants to do more than just hold her trapped against the wall.

"You gonna kill me now?  Strangle me?  Some master vampire!  Has to kill the human to shut her up." 

I can't believe she actually spit on me.  That's gross.  These are new pajamas, whore.

"I thought you were suppose to be *the* badass vampire of all time.  Haven't seen it so far.  Lawyers fucked with you, fucked with your sire, fucked with your kid, offed your grandchild, and you don't say shit.  I call you a motherfucking, son of a bitch to your face and the worst you can do is offer to kill me?  A fucking minion could kill me.  Hell, a *human* could kill me.  Spike would have had me crawling to him begging for forgiveness by now.  He'd have me groveling at his feet pleading for him to just look at me, to just speak to me.  By now I'd have killed to have him just touch me." 

I hate her.  I hate her because she's right.

"So the best you can manage is to kill me?  You're not a master vampire.  Hell, you're not even a man now.  I don't know what you are any more.  Champion of the Powers That Be!  What a joke!  You're only doing it cause you're afraid of having your soul go to Hell.  Well, being sent to Hell didn't scare Spike.  Probably rules a fair portion of it by now.  After all, *he* was a master vampire.  Bloody lord and master of the Big Easy.  Demons tremble at his name.  You?  You're nothing.  You're just pathetic."

Howl welling up from deep down.  No one talks to me that way.  No one.  Smell my own rage now.  Equal to hers.  She's wrong.  So wrong. 

She wants to know what I really am?  She wants to know if I'm a man?  I can take care of that.  I can show her what domination really means.  I can show her exactly where Spike learned everything he knew. 

I'll show her exactly what a master vampire really is.

That's right; fight back.  I like it when they fight back.  It gets me so hot.  Oh yeah, that's good.  Now, now, knee in the groin is not allowed.  I'm gonna be needing that later.  Have to make sure you understand that's a no-no. 

"Oh, I like it when you make that sound, Baby.  Do it again." 

And a bruise right there would look just beautiful.  "Did that hurt?  Hmmm?  Want me to stop?"

Well, I'm not.  Not this time.  I can smell the hate and… what's this… exhilaration?  You really want this don't you?  Poor little pet, all alone without a master.  Well, I can take surely care of that, sweetie.

How about that?  Did that hurt, too? 

Let's see what you got.  Silk rips nicely, doesn't it?  Lovely sound. 

Nice chest.  Lots of it and its all natural, too.  Not much of that in L.A., sweetie.  Half the tits here are silicon. 

Ready for the next dose of pain?  Well ready or not here it comes. 

Oh yeah.  Make that sound for me, Baby.  So good.  So hot.  Yeah, that's my hand inside you now, honey.  Feel that.  Yeah.  Her back arching up, nearly bending her double.  Ecstasy of pain.  Hurts so bad, doesn't it, love?

"Scream for me, Baby.  Love to hear you scream."

That's so nice.  Bone deep fear.  There are worse things than dying, aren't there, sweetness.  Want to know what they all are?  I can show you.  Here's a sample. 

Oh God in heaven!  That feels so good.  The torment on your face is so sweet, honey. 

Come on, Baby.  Beg for it.  Say it.  Say it.

"Angelus, please!"

Oh God yeah.  Come on.  I want blood and pain and screams, too, sweetheart.  Give it to me.  You know what I want you to say.

"I...I'll do whatever you want, Angelus."

Say it!

"Please, Angelus!"

Say it!

"Master."

*Yes!*

"It's okay, sweetie.  Everything's okay now.  Your Angelus will take care of it all.  Your master is right here with you.  It's okay."  I know what you need.  The domination, the pain, the ownership.  We're gonna do this the right way, honey.  Yeah, we're gonna play a while.  Make it really hurt.  Deep down inside where it really counts.  Where it *means* something.

You look good on your knees, sweetheart.  Really good.  Fucking beautiful in fact.  Nice tongue.  Spike teach you that?  Mmm.  Just like that.  Good girl.  You're such a good girl; you deserve a little more pain.

Oops.  Well, I'll buy Wes a new whatever that was.  He keeps too much crap on the desk any way.  Yeah, that's right.  I want you flat on your back like the little slut you are.  Come on, sweetheart, you know the routine.

Yeah, begging will get you everything you want.  Yeah.  That's right.  Just had to ask for it, honey, that's all.  Oh yeah.  So hot, sweetness, so hot.  Love that heat all around me.  I can feel your blood pumping around me.  Did that hurt?  Let's do it again then.  Gonna hurt you so bad, girl.  Are you bleeding?  I smell it.  It's the most wonderful smell in the world. 

Like that, don't you, honey?  I like the way you're whimpering and moaning under me.  I like the smells coming off of you.  I like the feel of you.  I like being inside you.  I like that you hate me.

One last thing to do.  I'll ask the question but I already know what you'll decide.

"Who do you belong to now, bitch?"

Oh yeah, that sent it to a whole new level.  It's not just about punishment any more, huh, Baby?  Never was, was it?  You came to me for way more than just my help finding Spike's murderers, huh, sweetie?  You can came for this.  This is why you couldn't just let it go. 

You knew before you ever came here that this is how it would end up.  That this was what it's all about.  It's about our place in the universe.  It's about who has power.  It's about who rules what.  This is fate of the world shit. 

Well, fate of your world anyway.

You can't go back to being just an everyday human now, can you?  No more sunshine and flowers for you, honey.  Been in the darkness too long.  Addictive, isn't it?  You need the dark now.  You can't just walk away from it.  Can't just walk away from this.  You like having me inside you as much as I like being there.  You like having me hurt you. 

A normal man will never be able to satisfy you again.  Not after Spike.  Not after me.  You'll have to have a vampire.  And not just any vampire will do.  You've been claimed by a master vampire.  You were consort to William the fucking Bloody, for God's sake.  Mate to one of the most vicious creatures ever created.  You've been fucked by Angelus and Angel.  There's no one alive that can make that claim except you, hon.  After all that, could you bear to go to a minion?  You couldn't.  You'll need more than that. 

You already need more than that.  You need the domination and the pain.  The cold and the darkness.  The blood and the sex and the violence.  The unmitigated raw power.  Heady stuff.  Necessary to the survival of the clan.  That's why you haven't bedded one of Spike's children and helped them claimed leadership of your family.  None of them are strong enough, vicious enough, tough enough to step into Spike's boots.  But you are.  That's why you went head to head with me.  That's why you pushed till we got to this point.

You may have sex with one of your minions or even one of your humans.  Hell, you'll probably keep a half dozen of them as pets.  But it won't be like this.  You'll rule that relationship.  Literally be the one on top.  You'll never submit to them.  You'll never beg anyone else to fuck you.  It'll never feel this good with one of them.  It'll never hurt this good again.

You never even bothered to tell me to stop.  Never said no.  It wasn't rape this time, sweetness, was it?

"You.  I belong to you now.  Please, do it.  Angelus.  Mark me."

Well, now.  All you had to do was ask.  What?  Offering the distaff side of her neck.  What the…?  Ah.  Doesn't want my mark over Spike's.  That's okay.  I can understand that.  Would want my widow to do the same.  Respect for the dead.  But you still need to be punished a bit for the insolence.  A bit more pain before we both get what we want.

There.  Yes.  Oh yes.  That's right.  Time to really scream now, Baby.  I can feel my face changing.  Fangs puncturing that white skin.  Yes.  Her scream sounds so right.  Her body arching into mine.  And blood.  Living human blood.  Pumping.  Flowing.  So sweet.  So wonderful.  Feel her release.  Feel the pain and the ecstasy.  I'm gonna… Oh.  So close… The blood… Oh. 

Oh yes! 

Release so strong it rips me from her throat.  She's not the only one who can scream.  Let the demon free for just a minute.  Let him roar out our completion.

Angel:

Feel relaxed for the first time in so long.  I should be worried.  I should feel guilty.  I should be sorry.  I'm not.  It was the right thing to do, damn it. 

It just wasn't the human thing to do.

I'm still a vampire.  Everyone tries to forget that but I'm still a fucking vampire.  Maybe it's time I remember that, too.  Maybe it's time to remind them all just what I am.

Sling her out into the lobby so she slides across the floor.  Clothes in tatters, body black and blue, look of triumph on her face.  Guess we both won this round.

"Clean her up.  Take care of your master."

All of her minions are there.  Even more than when I came down before.  Some of the humans, too.  Guess someone gathered the troops. 

They know.  They know what we were doing.  What it means.  So does Wes.  He and Dru are watching from the first landing.  Dru looks happy.  Wes looks… satisfied.  Maybe he understands how necessary this was.  I know he and Dru have a true vampire/human relationship.  He bears Drusilla's mark.  And I know he's drunk from her.  I've smelled it often enough on him.  Seen that self-satisfied smirk.  Seen that alpha-consort arrogance.  Yes, Wesley understands.

Spike's bitch… my bitch now… is pulling her hair out of the way.  Arching her neck.  Proudly displaying the bite mark to her minions.  They understand the significance of it.  Spike's unnatural children are shouting now.  So is she.  Howling for joy.  Yes, they understand.  She may be human but somehow or another Spike's left her as his heir.  She's their leader.

And I just validated their bloodline and her claim.  I need my head examined.  I've obviously gone crazy.  But, God, I feel good.

Hear music starting up behind me.  Less violent, less loud than before.  Something hip-hop.  They'll celebrate till the sun comes up.  They're already dancing.  Vampires and humans alike licking the wounds I made on their dominant.  Shit, did I just make her master of New Orleans?  Oh Hell.

Vampires are offering sips of their blood to her, to the other humans, and to each other.  I could join them.  They'd happily offer up their blood to me, too.  Sex and blood.  That's truly the tie that binds.  Makes us a family.  Makes everything okay.  Keeps eternity from driving you crazy.

It would be so good to just let go for a little while.  Wes and Dru are joining them.  Dru wants to dance.  Did Wes just…?  He did!  He took a sip from one of Spike's children.  You go, Wes.  It's better than any street drug isn't it?  Keep that up and Dru's gonna have a really good night. 

Maybe I will join them, just for a little while. 

Mmm, nice to feel vampire tongues on my skin again.  Cool lips on my body.  Cool hands touching me.  Warm ones, too.  Good to be treated with respect again.  Tastes of blood here and there, some human, mostly vampire.  So soothing.  Feel so peaceful.  This is so right.  And the scents.  So nice.  Warm and carnal.  I love it.

Above the blood and sex and sweat around me, there's another scent. 

Cordelia. 

Shit. 

My sweet lover stepping out from the shadows on the upper level.  How long has she been there?  From the look on her face she's been there a while.  Fuck!

"Hey, honey."

Okay, innocent little boy look isn't working. 

Say something, Cordy.  You're never at a loss for words.  Just ask what happened, Cordy.  Please. 

Just ask and then I can tell you that this has absolutely nothing to do with you, nothing at all to do with us.  That what I just did is in no way, shape, fashion, or form like what takes place in our bedroom.  That there was nothing in it of love or tenderness or caring.  That this is just a vampire thing.  A dominance thing.  A who rules the family thing.

Ask and I can tell you the truth.  That I hate Spike's bitch.  That I loathe everything about her.  That I would never treat you that way.  That I don't even want to *think* about treating you that way.  That it makes me sick to think of that.  That I had to do it.  That I had to show her I was still head of the clan.  That I had to show Spike's minions that she's head of their family. 

Ask and I can explain that I claimed her because I owe it to Spike.  That I hurt her because she needed it.  That I drank from her, marked her because, God help me, I owe her, too.  That I'm partially to blame for what she is.  That I didn't let her drink from me because *she's* not my consort.  That I don't want to make her my consort.  That I want to make you my consort.  That I want to drink from you, God, yes!  That I want you to drink from me.  That I'd *kill* to have you drink from me.

I'll never make you understand.

I'm so screwed.

"Don't touch me."

Cordy, please.

"You look like shit." 

Yeah.  The bitch put up a good fight.  Pajamas ripped to hell, body covered in scratches and blood and who knows what else.  She bit me when she couldn't scratch and tear with her hands. 

"And you smell disgusting."  Yeah.  Blood.  Sweat.  Sex.  Okay, I need a shower.

God, Cordy is so beautiful.  So sweet.  So perfect.  So angry. 

I'm so stupid.  I need my head examined.  I really, really need my head examined. 
 

Baby:

Well, Cordelia isn't happy.  Oh man, Angelus is in trouble.  She sent him to his room, I guess.  He's leaving anyway.  Disappearing up the stairs.  That's so funny.  Almost makes me want to laugh.  Spike would have. 

Miss his laugh.  Miss him. 

Yep, Cordy's pissed.  Oh well.  Not my problem.  I got problems all my own.

Problems you wouldn't believe.

Oh, do not come down here messing with me, Cheerleader.  You may have the mighty Angelus pussy-whipped but I'm not in the mood for any of your mouth.  I don't need you in my face.  You got problems with your old man; you take it up with him.  I'm not part of that little equation at all.  You don't need to worry about me.  I don't want your Angel.  And he for damn sure doesn't want me.  What Angelus and I have is political.  It cold, hard, light of day shit.  You have the soft, candlelit, hearth and home thing.  He goes to you for comfort and tenderness.  He goes to you for love.  Nauseating though that thought is.

Yeah.  I can see it in his face.  He goes to you for all the things that Spike came to me for.  He'll stand by you forever because, hey, the men of clan Aurelius are kinda like that.  You, him, and Connor make a nice little family.  Don't worry; he's not gonna leave you.  Ever. 

I should know.  I was bonded to the most faithful man in the whole bloodline.  Spike believed completely in that whole till true death do us part thing.  The possessive little shit seldom let me out of his sight; he was afraid something would happen to me.  He hated being alone.  He couldn't stand it.

I hate irony.

I hate being alone.  Bloody everlasting Hell.

Crap!  Alone sucks.  Sucks worse than Angelus.  Sucks worse than anything.  You have no idea. 

And you never will.  Nope, you'll never be alone.

Don't touch me, bitch.  I may let Angel-Cakes beat the shit out of me but there ain't no way in Hell I'll take it off you.  You may be his Favorite but by God, I'm the Alpha female around here.  Want me to show you what that means?

I can.  No problem.

"Leave me alone, Cordelia."

"What did you do to him?'

What do you think I did?  I messed with his head till he beat me half-senseless, fucked me like a whore, and drank my blood.  I did exactly what I was supposed to do.  I did what my people expect of me.  All is right in our little world.  I have his mark.  The children know where I stand.  We're still part of the clan.  Outsiders will leave us alone because Angelus' name still means something in the demon world.  I'm still bitch queen and I can take care of my people the way I'm supposed to. 

I did what Spike would want me to do.

Spike. 

I was a good and dutiful wife.  And I'll be a good and dutiful widow.  For however long I have to live without him.

"I did what any good little vassal is supposed to do, Prom Queen.  I let our liege lord fuck me and suck me." 

Yeah, I paid the price, honey.  I hurt all over.  I let the one thing happen that I swore would never ever happen again.  Hell's bells, I asked for it to happen.  I set it up like a master chess player.  Want to see what I got for my trouble?  I tilt my head so she can see the bite mark clearly.

"Oh my God!  He bit you!"

Now there's a news flash.  Duh!  Of course, he bit me.  He was supposed to fucking bite me.  Why the fuck else would I go through that?  It sure as hell wasn't for the sex.  Had to keep my standing in the family.  Had to.  Wouldn't do it for any other reason, God knows.

Besides, vampire plus sex equals biting.  Though he made me work hard enough for it, the sadistic prick.

And I hated every fucking minute of it.  Spike's gone and I feel like I've betrayed him.  Jesus God!  I let… No I friggin' begged Angelus to fuck me.  Son of a bitch made me beg for it.  Beg for it like a cheap whore.  Yeah.  My Spike's dead and I let Angelus stick his dick inside me.  Again.

Wanna make something out of that, Cheerleader?  Yeah, I fucked your old man and let him gnaw on me.  Vampire politics, baby.  Get over it.  I will.  It didn't mean shit in the emotional department except maybe I hate him a little more, if that's possible.  I don't want any man to ever touch me again.  And they won't.  I belong to Spike despite what I told that bastard.  I'll always belong to Spike.  And I'll pray daily to Spike for forgiveness.  Till the day I join him no one touches me ever again. 

Christ.  Maybe I am a whore.  I fucked Angelus for a few square miles of Louisiana swamp.  Pretty much sounds like the definition of whore to me.

Oh God in heaven.  I fucked Angel. 

What?  It hurt your feelings?  Tough shit.  Your man's still walking around.  Mine's not.

Crap!  I fucked Angel.

What are you getting all freaked about?  None of this is new to you. 

"He bit you!"

Yes, and?  Afraid I'll take your place?  Don't want it.  Slit my wrists before I become Angelus' whore.  That's job's all yours, doll.  You're welcomed to it.

'Course, pulling your strings might make me feel better right now.  It's what you get for messing with me.  It's what you get for being that monster's main squeeze.  'Course, I guess that makes me his bit on the side.

"Damn straight.  Want to see if my mark is better than yours?"

What the hell?  Where's your mark, Cordy?  That neck is pristine.  "He's never bit you."  Well fuck me sideways. 

Oh wait, Angelus already did that.

"He's never bit you?  Ever?!?  Hell's fire and damnation!  What the hell sort of relationship do you two have?!?  All these years I thought you were his consort.  Sweet Mother of God."

Oh fuck.  That makes me…

Oh damn.

Cordelia:

What?  What's that mean?  What's a consort?  What is she talking about?  Standing there, half-naked for God's sake, with her mouth hanging open. 

"You look like a fish."

"What?"

"Close your mouth.  You look like a trout or some fish that … that has a really big mouth that hangs open.  You know, the kind you see on walls."

She looks like Giles when she does that thing with her face.  Maybe it's a look forty-something people do.  Oh, and I don't care how much of Spike's blood she's been swilling, all forty of those years are showing.  The no make-up thing isn't helping.  I mean what with the dark circles under the eyes, which are bloodshot by the way.  Just because you hang with the Bleached Wonder is no reason to let yourself go all punk.  Particularly at that age.  I mean, that hair and red nails, too?

Maybe it's Goth instead of Punk.  I never could keep the two separated. 

Either way, you don't wear that shade in summer.  She looks really…

Bad. 

I mean, like she's felt really bad for a long time.  Really, really bad.  Of the not sleeping or eating for days sort of bad.  Of the everything around me is falling apart sort of bad.  Of the my life is over now sort of bad.

Oh God.  Spike's dead.  He's really, really gone.  And now she's alone.  I mean, I never liked him but I know the two of them had this long-term thing going.  A Wes and Dru sort of thing.  An Angel and me sort of thing.  No wonder she's acting crazy and bitchy.  I'd be crazy and bitchy if someone killed Angel, too.  I think I'd go hunting them just like she is.  In fact, I'm sure of it.  I'd kill them with my own hands. 

What the hell went on in the office?  Her clothes are totally wrecked.  And her face…

"You don't look so good."

"I've had better days."

I guess that's sort of a smile.  Oh great.  Now she looks really bad and sad.  And kind of beat up.  Well, really beat up actually.  Did Angel do that?  Why?  I mean, I thought they had… Okay not going there.  Bad visuals.  Any way she looks more like they tried to kill each other.

I'm confused.

"Let's go get you cleaned up.  We need to talk."

Baby:

Oh my God.  I can not believe I had to explain the vampiric birds and bees to Cordelia Chase!  That has got to be the freakiest thing that has ever happened in my completely freakish existence. 

What the hell is wrong with Angelus anyway?

I so need a drink now.  Maybe I'll just bang my head against a wall for a few hours.  Maybe I can knock myself unconscious.  Unconscious would be good. 

Maybe then I won't feel so filthy.  Maybe then I won't think about Angelus.  Maybe then I won't think about Spike.  Maybe then I won't dream.

Oh crap, I hurt.  "Jean, did we bring any pain pills?"

Cordelia:

Oh.  My.  God. 

I can't believe it.  And he never said a word.  And I had to find out from Spike's girlfriend!  He is in so much trouble.

"You are in so much trouble!"

That's right.  Be very afraid, mister!  You can't weasel out of this one, Angel.  Oh and don't stand there looking all little boy, stuttering at me.

"And don't give me that innocent look!"

"Cordy, it… it was just a vampire thing.  It didn't mean anything.  Well, it meant plenty but not anything that effects you.  It's a different anything.  A very different anything.  See the anything that I have with you is … well, different."

"Oh, so you don't want to bite me?"

"No!  Of course not!"

Oh how could he!  I thought he cared!  "You don't want me!"

Oh great now I'm going to cry and this mascara isn't waterproof.  I'll look like raccoon on top of everything else.  Or Alice Cooper.  Ew.  "I thought we had a real relationship!"

"Cordy baby, we do!  I love you!"

He looks so desperate. 

"Then why don't you want to marry me?  Why don't you want to make my your consort?"

Oh now he just looks blank.  He's so cute when he's clueless.  Makes me just want to kiss his big, dumb mug.  Yeah, kissing… Angel… kissing Angel… such a good thing… Focus, Cordy! 

Actually kissing him might be good idea right now.

There.

"But, but?  How?  How did you know about consorts and biting and… and… and…?"

Sometimes I have to wonder why I bother.  "Spike's Little Miss Super Bitch had to tell me.  That's why you're in trouble.  I should have heard it from you.  About a year ago."

"Oh."

"That the best you can do?" He still looks blank.  Men.  "So do you accept my proposal?"

"Oh God yes!"

And I thought I felt good before.  Nothing compares to this.  Cordy in my arms, wanting me, wanting all of me.  Wanting it to be forever.  Damn good thing my soul is anchored or it would be gone by now.

My Cordy.  My sweet, perfect, precious Cordelia.  Mine.  Finally mine.

Now I really owe that bitch downstairs. 

Too wound up to sleep.  Cordy's snoring any way.  I love her.  I love her so much but she's loud when she sleeps.  Too much going on in my head to sleep any way.

One of Spike's children is lurking in the hall, leaning against the wall.  What's his name?  He's one of the Bitch's favorites.  He was all fawning concern earlier.  What's he want now?  Guess I'll just ask.

"I was looking for you."

Soft, Cajun French accent.  Bigger frame than Spike but not much taller, smaller than me.  Looks strong enough, though, with intelligence in his face and demeanor.  Yep, child and not minion.  What was Spike doing?  Turning everyone he bit?

"My name is Jean Claude DuValliere.  I'm Spike's oldest child."

Oh lord.  Probably wants to know why I gave rule of the family to her instead of him.  Rivalries rearing their ugly heads already.  He can't be even four-years-old yet.  I'm not gonna fight her battles.  She better learn to deal with this herself.  I give it six months before it all goes to Hell in handbasket.  Before one of them kills her.  Oh well, at least I'll be free of the Bitch.

I really need to stop thinking of her that way.  Got to find another name for her.  Hm.  How about 'Whore' or maybe 'Slut'.

Stop it.

I don't feel like dealing with this right now.  Unfortunately the imperious look isn't warning him off.  Guess I can listen till I'm tired of it and then toss him down the stairs.  I give it about thirty seconds until the tossing part comes in.  "Go ahead."

"I know you're lord of the clan.  I know you're older, more powerful, stronger than I am."  His dark eyes are cold when he looks up at me.  "But if you ever hurt Baby again, I'll kill you."  He just pushes off from the wall and walks away.

What the Hell was that about?

Flame flares from a dark corner of the corridor, another of Spike's family lurking in my halls.  Lighting a cigarette.  I remember this one, too.  Another of the overly concerned ones.  Darker hair, smaller frame than the previous one.  Taller, taller even than me.  Damn good looking.  Is Spike turning 'em based on looks these days?  This one has a tiny diamond glinting from one nostril.  Attitude reminds me more of Spike. 

"If Jean Claude can't get it done, I will."  Same accent but stronger.

"And you are?"

"René Beaumont.  Don't remember where I fall in the birthing order, me.  Third or fourth."  Pause to exhale a stream of smoke to one side.  "And if you get past me and Jean Claude, you still have to go through Beau and Leonce and Rex and Claudia.  Believe me, you don't want to mess with Claudia.  She's real fond of Baby, her.  Good thing she not here, she be ripped your lungs out already."  Another pause to grind out the barely touched cigarette on my carpet.  "We're all fond of Baby.  Don't touch her again, Angelus."  He just fades away into the shadows. 

He's good.  Give him a few years and he'll be dangerous.  I may have to kill him.

Lovely.  I've just been threaten with death by two of my great-grandchildren with more apparently waiting in the wings to do the same.  All over Spike's psycho old lady. 

What the hell has Spike been raising down there?!?

Baby:

I feel like shit.  Waking up screaming will do that to you.  So much for not dreaming.  At least it was a new nightmare this time.  Or rather, an old one revisited.  Haven't dreamed about Angelus and that alley in years. 

New twist today.  This time Angelus killed him.  Chained him to a wall and started doing all those things that I saw on that fucking video.  Of course, that was just a dream.  Angelus didn't kill Spike. 

Wolfram and Hart and their fucking mystery client killed Spike. 

They tortured him for hours.  That really happened.  I saw it.  Over and over.  With digital clarity, freeze frame capability, and surround sound. 

Oh God.  How could anyone do that to him?  To him!  To someone so beautiful?  How could they carve up that perfect body?  Destroy that glorious face? 

What they did to his face!  And his…

I threw up again right after I woke up.

I see his broken, torn body every time I close my eyes.  I hear him screaming every hour of every day.  Nothing drowns that out.  I can play thrash rock loud enough to vibrate the walls and shatter the windows and it doesn't drown that out.  I can kill and kill and kill and their screams won't drown that other screaming out.

They made Spike scream.

I'm going to kill them.  Every last fucking one of them. 

I'm going to carve his name deep into their skin.

They flayed his legs.

I'm going to break every bone in their hands.

They ripped off his fingernails and broke all his fingers.

I'm going to rip out their tongues.

They broke his jaw and pulled his fangs.

I'm going to pluck out their eyes. 

There toward the end they took his eyes.  Burned out his perfect blue eyes.

I'm going to slice them open.

They eviscerated him.

I'm going to cut off their fucking dicks and make them eat 'em.

They emasculated him.

They are going to die so hard.

I want to just lie on the cold floor and scream and scream.  It hurts so much.  I can't live like this.  Not for much longer.

Angel:

"You want this back?" I flip the DVD onto the desk.  It's in several pieces.  I kinda crushed it.  She doesn't even move.  Just sits there, her stony face wet with silent tears.  "I watched it.  I have to say I was impressed."

And a little nauseated.  And more than a little pissed off.

She finally looks up at me, head moving in little jerks like a broken automaton.  Those big cat eyes of hers finally meeting mine.  I recognize every emotion in them.  For once we're in complete accord.  The bastards that killed Spike are going down.  Hard.  She nods.  She understands. 

Whatever else Spike's bitch may be, she isn't slow.

Her lip's starting to twitch.  Her face to screw up .  Oh hell.  She's not… Crap!  What am I supposed to do now?

Nothing else I can do.

I murmur nonsense comfort words into her hair and hold her while she cries her heart out.

The Bitch cleans up pretty well.  Looks professional in a black silk business suit.  Nice black leather purse.  Steel attaché.  Make-up and hair just so.  Keep forgetting she was once part of corporate America.  She sure as hell looks corporate now.  It's scary.  Doesn't look at all like Spike's aging, tough-ass, Punk-Goth queen.  Oh, well, except for the black cowboy boots peeping out from her pants legs.  The Bitch just couldn't let go of everything, I guess.

I have got to stop calling her that.  Baby, they all call her Baby.  Right.

"You ready?"

Me?  Bi… Baby, I was ready three hours ago.  I've been ready ever since I watched that DVD.  Just waiting for sundown.

It's past time to visit the lawyers. 

"Put this on."

She's handing me some sort of cell phone with a headset.  I hate cell phones.  But I'll put up with it this time.  Part of her plan.  Everyone's in communication with a central point and each other.  Her computer geeks have been fired up all day, drilling through firewalls and rifling files.  Got her mages all ready.  Some will come with us and others will work from a distance.  Can't believe how meticulous her plan is.  Said she use to run multi-million dollar projects.  I can believe it.  Guess she put all that experience to good use. 

She's been planning this for weeks.  Setting it up and picking at it until it's perfect.  Everybody has a role to play and they know what it is.  Everything has a schedule and everybody knows what it is.  Except me.  I keep feeling like I'm missing a piece of a puzzle.  Doesn't matter.  I'm gonna scare the shit out of half of Wolfram and Hart.  Gonna find the asshole that set up Spike's death.  May just drop him out a window. 

Preferably one ten floors up or more.

Here already?  Don't even remember the drive.  Bitch is getting out.  She's going in first.  She actually has an appointment with Linwood.  Don't know how she managed that.  They think she's another lawyer here for a deposition.  The minute she goes up to meet him, I'm going in.

This should be fun.

I feel alien here.  Cubes and offices.  PCs and keyboards.  Use to be more familiar to me than my own home.  Secure.  Comforting.  I'm an alien here now.  I belong on the night-washed streets and dim alleys.  The shadowy parks and dark clubs.  Not here under bright florescent lights surrounded by busy little worker bees.  Content little sheep.

I used to be a bee.  Was a sheep.  Now I'm what?  A leopard?  No, I hunt with a pack, a pride.  A lioness?  A she-wolf?

Wolves mate for life, you know.

Whatever I am, I'm definitely not one of the sheep any more. 

I can picture a different death for each of the featureless faces I pass.  What I imagine would freeze their little hearts.  Send them screaming into the night.  Of course, there's no safety in the night.  I should know.  That's where I live.

So I'll walk through their contented little herd and picture different ways to kill each one.  I should be appalled by that.  I'm not.  All I feel is anger and grief.  They all had a part in taking Spike away.  They all had a part in his pain.  They all deserve to die.

Baby:

An annoyingly pretty receptionist leaves me in an overly elegant office to wait for my appointment.  Good.  I could hurt her.  She wouldn't last three minutes alone with me.  I'd have her crying all over my shoes in less than half a minute.  Now that's an amusing thought. 

Well, as they're fond of saying here in LaLa Land, it's show time.

Key my cell phone.  We've been live since I climbed out of the SUV.  "Go.  Now."

Hate waiting.

I still hurt.  Feel so tired.  Bone weary.  Can't be, not now.  It's almost over.  Got to stay focused.  Get the rage going.  Get the adrenaline pumping.  Remember, some fucker sitting in an office like this one ordered Spike's death.  Someone sitting within screaming distance.  Got paid for it.  Got happy about it.  Crying all over Angelus doesn't mean it's done.  Not by half.  Think of Spike.

"I'm a bit peckish, pet.  Gonna grab a bite.  Want to come?  No?  Sinus headache still bothering you?  Alright then.  You rest.  I won't be long.  Love you, babe."

Won't be long.  Just forever.  Love you, too, babe.  More than anything.  More than living.  Should have gone with you.  Should have died with you. 

That's okay.  I have a plan.  We'll be together soon.  One way or another. 

"Love you, babe."

"Ah, Ms.  Thomas.  I'm happy to meet you at last.  I'm Mr.  Linwood." 

Older man.  Ordinary looking.  What I expected.

"Actually, I'm not."  I stand and move toward him, right hand sliding behind me.  Grip of my gun cool
against my palm.  Holster warm against the small of my back.  Feels good.

"I'm sorry?  Not what?"

Have him against the wall before he knows what happened.  Forty-five to his head.  "I'm not Ms.  Thomas. 
It's Mrs.  actually." 

"Gonna grab a bite.  Want to come?"

I should have gone with him.  I always go with him.  We never go anywhere apart.

We're going to be together again.  I swear it. 

"Mrs.  William the Bloody." 

Well at least Linwood recognizes the name.  "You're the consort.  The one they call Baby."

Damn straight.  Spike's consort.  Spike's Baby.  That's me.  Always and forever. 

"Bet yore white ass, son."  That red-neck gene is surfacing.  Does that when I'm pissed.  Accent gets thick.  You can tell I'm a Rebel born and bred.  Southerners handle their own problems.  Never was much on going to the law.  Less now than I ever was.  It all goes back to that sleeping with the undead thing.  Spike's consort.  Yeah, old son, I for damn fucking sure am. 

Keeps his mouth shut.  Smart man.

Push the barrel hard against his temple.  It'll leave a bruise.  "Now I had a few options here.  I could've call a vengeance demon, I could've hire a hit man, I could've prayed for an avenging angel, or I could just take care of it myself."  I can feel how unpleasant my smile is.  It hurts my face.  "I opted for the latter two.  So I'm here…"

Door crashes open and Angelus slings some woman into the room. 

"And that's my avenging Angel."

Bad pun.  I know.  I couldn't help it.  Timing was too perfect.  Sometimes you just have to go with that feeling.

Angelus grabs the man from me and slams him onto the desk.  Gets right in his face.  Never seen Angel this mad.  I love it.  Keep my pistol on the woman.  Oh, it's Lilah.  Cool.  This gets more and more fun.  Can see that the hall is full of my boys.  We won't have any untoward interruptions now. 

"Linwood, my man.  How you doing today?  You are just the man I need to see." 

Damn, I love it when Angel goes all Angelus on people.  A thing of beauty and a joy to behold forever.  He's even wearing the leather pants.  Big leather coat.  He looks like Death itself.  Linwood obviously thinks so, too. 

"I see you've met my granddaughter-in-law.  Baby came to me with the saddest story.  Now, I hate for my family to have to come to me with sad stories involving Wolfram and Hart.  But I told her it would be no problem.  That I knew just the man to help us out.  That my son's godfather works at Wolfram and Hart.  And I know he can help her just the way he helps Connor.  I'm sure you're going to help make Baby happy.  We all want Baby to be happy."  He plops Linwood into a chair and straightens the man's tie.  All the while he has that calm, peaceful look he gets when he really wants to kill someone horribly.  Linwood knows it.  Hell, I'm not a vampire and I can smell his fear from here.  It's delicious.

"What…" Old man has to clear his throat before he can talk.  Got a lump in your throat or did Angelus squeeze too tightly?  "What can I do for you?"

Oh that's definitely my cue.  "I want to know who paid for Spike's murder."

"Want to come?"

I'd come any time he looked at me.  All it took was a look, a touch.

"I want to know who put out the hit."

"I won't be long."

He kissed me before he left.  I had one last kiss to remember him by. 

"I want to know who in this office acted as a go between for the killers and the client."

"You rest."

I haven't rested since he didn't come home.  Haven't slept.  Haven't had any peace.  Won't have any till I'm with him again.

"And I want to know now." 

"Love you, babe."

I love you, Spike.  Forever and ever.  Death won't stop that.

My voice is as quiet as Angel's, maybe even quieter but not nearly so pleasant.  I sound just as pissed as I am.  Good.  He doesn't realize it but Angelus isn't the one he should be worried about.  But he'll know soon.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Wrong answer, pet."  I can't reach him so I do the next best thing and backhand Lilah.  She ends up on the floor.  Used the hand that held the gun.  Hammer opened a gash in her cheek.  Good.  Grab her by the hair and haul her into a chair.  "Stay there."  With her settled, I have a chance to pull my knife.  Holster the gun.  That's better.  I'll need the knife.  Motion for one of my boys.  He stands behind her and places a gentle, unmovable hand on each shoulder.  Rex will keep her still until I'm ready for her.

"Wanna try that again?" Good Lord, Angelus can sound scary. 

Hmm, Linwood's turning a tad purple.  "Angelus, honey, you might want to loosen that strangle hold a little.  I don't think he can breathe."  Now my voice sounds pleasant.  I'm starting to enjoy myself.  Damn shame Angelus is such a schizophrenic, ensouled pain in the ass.  We could have fun together.  Well, that and the fact that I hate him.

Jean Claude's nodding at me.  Letting me know my first little hole card just came into play.  All right.  One of our highly illegal, highly efficient phone taps just paid off.  Been expecting this one.  Right on time.

"Call your wife."

Angel gives me that look.  No, honey, I didn't tell you about this because you'd have tried to stop me or something equally stupid.  Did you think they'd just turn over one of their own to you?  Probably.  Legal eagles eat their own you know.  Turn over a client?  Not likely.  That's much higher stakes. 

You have to remember who you're playing with here.  I can speak a language these asshole lawyers will understand.  You never played corporate warfare.  I did.  For sixteen years.  I was a friggin' field marshal at it.  You hit the enemy where it hurts the most.  The everlasting, ever holy, bottom line.

"Now.  Call your wife."

Love the look on Linwood's face as she tells him that the police just called because their beach house blew up.  Hit!

"Now that house must have cost a pretty penny.  Not as much as the one that's left, of course."  Oh that got his attention.  Yeppers, it did.  "Want to find it and your family in parts?"

Don't even say a word, Angelus.  Let me take care of this.

Good boy!

René beside me.  Handing me a printout.  Damn, my boys are good.  "Your bank accounts aren't that secure, either.  You shouldn't make banking transactions on your PC and save the passwords."  I tsk a bit.  I can't help the smile.  I really can't.  "René?  Start transferring funds until I tell you stop."
I didn't know a human could go that pale.  And I've seen some people turn pale, let me tell you.  Usually when Spike has 'em up against a wall.  Spike can be very disturbing to a person's circulatory system.  In several interesting ways.

Oh well, I suppose when you sell your soul for wealth having it siphoned off is concerning.  Lawyers and money.  Go together just like the cookie and filling of an Oreo. 

Names are spilling from his lips like water from a fountain.  His fellow workers and the client.  They belong to me now.

"Call them in here."  Angelus gave me a wink!  I promise you, he did!  Well, well.  Will wonders never cease?

Angel:

Bitch…Baby has her act together.  Gotta give the girl credit.  So used to Spike's schemes that never quite work out that I forgot how efficient some people can be.  No wonder Spike rules New Orleans.  Shit, she probably owns Tammany Hall.  Gonna have to keep an eye on her.  She could be dangerous.  And here I thought she was just aggravating as hell.

Vampires hacking computers to threaten humans.  That's just… really frightening.

Three men in here now in response to Linwood's calls.  Only recognize one.  The Korean guy.  Parks or Parker or something.  Gavin.  Seen him with Lilah.

So these are the scum that helped kill Spike.  Damn, not even a decent demon in the bunch.  They're babbling excuses, of course.  Not in the mood to hear it.

Neither is Baby.  I can hear her heart pounding from across the room.  Fingers twitching, never still.  Pacing.  Tiny jerks and quivers plaguing her body.  Lips pulled back in a snarl.  She's really walking the edge.  Well, I guess she has reason.  This is what she's been working for.

Jesus!  She cut that one's throat.  Didn't say a word to him; just slit his throat.  Blood spurting all over her suit, spraying the wall behind her.  She hit the artery square on.  Christ!  The smell.  Blood and death.  Damn.  Makes me hungry.  She got his esophagus, too.  Cut deep.  He's not making a sound.  Just staring up at her with huge eyes, his hands wrapped ineffectively around his own neck. 

Makes me hard.

Baby:

Lilah jumped about half a foot off her chair even with Rex holding her down.  She didn't scream though.  Didn't make a sound.  I like her.  Linwood's about to come unglued.  "He was just a clerk!"

"That's why I killed him quick."  Simple rule.  If you were part of this little enterprise, you die.  Mercy is measured in how short your life is.  I was very merciful to him.  These others, well they had a lot more to do with it.  "These two come with us."  Some of the boys drag the Asian and the white lawyers out.  Just Linwood and Lilah left again.

Notice that Jean and René have placed themselves between Angelus and me.  Making sure there's no interference with the next part of the plan.  Ah, my children have perfect timing.  Jean Claude nods at me just as I hear Claudia's voice over the headset of my phone.  Long distance is so clear these days. 

"It's done, Mère.  Nothing but rubble."

My children are sooo goood.  "Thank you, sweetheart.  Now you all just wait for my call.  Tell the girls I'm proud of them.  Tell them Spike would be proud of them."

I can feel Spike beside me.  I swear I can.  I can see him in the faces of our children.  Hear him in their voices.  I can't give him children of my body but these children of his blood mean damn near as much.  That's why they're different, Angelus.  I know you don't understand them at all.  They weren't turned because we saw and wanted.  We didn't murder them.  We saved them.  The rape victim torn up too badly to survive.  The mugging victim stabbed and bleeding his last drops onto the asphalt.  They're the ones we find too late.  Spike turns them.  We give them a new life.  We raise them differently.  Teach them different things.  Things you never considered teaching your children. 

They're taught to love each other.  They're brothers and sisters.  Taught to love their Sire.  He's their Daddy, their cher Papa, their savior.  Taught to love his consort.  I'm their Mama, their Maman.  Taught that nothing matters like family.  If you're not family, you're either sheep or predators.  We protect the sheep and feed on the predators.  We have a purpose.  Absolute tip top of the food chain.  It's us against a cold, cruel, sun-filled world.  The Judge would have burned every last one of them.  Too much like Spike and Dru.  Too full of emotion.  The ones that aren't die by their Daddy's hand.  Tough love has a whole new meaning at our house.  But those that survive, they truly are spectacular.  Because they can work together.  They should scare the shit out of you.

I sit down on the side of the desk.  This is the important bit.  Everything depends on this part.  At least Angelus is cooperating.  Presenting a united front.  I guess he figures he'll kick the shit out of me later.  Not if this works.  Hell if this works, I won't care if you beat me, Peaches.  Knock yourself out, sweetness.  I'll let you.  Because I'll owe it to you.

Pat Linwood on the cheek.  Friendly, almost seductive.  That Southern girl thang.  "Now, honey, I've done an amazing amount of research on your organization here over the last three months.  And I've found out all sort of interesting bits.  I have a pretty fair idea of just how incredibly powerful your senior partners are.  So I've come up with a little deal.  I won't wipe out all their liquid assets and they give me back Spike."   I lean back.  The look on his face is worth it.  Angel looks ready to either faint or slap me.  Can't tell which for sure.

I give Linwood a smile.  "I know they can do it.  And do it cleaner and faster than they did Darla.  I want him back.  All in one piece, just the way I last saw him.  None of that human souled shit.  I want my vampire back.  Exactly the way he was before you fuckers got your hands on him."  Pause long enough for him to see I'm serious.  "Call 'em."

"It's not that eas…"

My knife is right at that spot where the soft underside of his chin meets his throat, the point drawing a tiny bead of blood.  "Now, no games.  Not about this.  This is the serious shit.  For my first installment, tell them to check on the Cleveland office.  You'll see it's not there any more.  My girls just blew it back to Hell."  I hear Jerry muttering in my ear through the headset.  "And they'll find the Tokyo office is several billion yen poorer than it was and the Frankfort office is… oh… two million euros poorer.  You gotta love all that money existing as nothing but electronic data.  So easy to manipulate if you know what you're doing."

"I, I can't."

I signal my boys.  Before he even knows what hit him, Angelus is pinned to the wall by half a dozen of them.  Jean and René are holding stakes to his heart.  I lean in and whisper in Linwood's ear.  I know Angelus can hear me, too.  "You tell them that they send Spike back to me or I kill Angel.  I know how important he is to them.  And I know they can't bring him back.  He's different.  But he's vital to them.  And don't fool yourself.  I'll kill him." 

I'm not playing.

I never break eye contact with Linwood.  He has to realize I mean what I say. 

I don't turn as I speak to my erstwhile ally.  I have to keep my eyes on the lawyer.  "Angel, I'm sorry.  I think you're trying to be a good man.  I'd like you if I didn't hate you so much.  But there isn't anyone or anything I wouldn't sacrifice for Spike.  I'd nuke half the planet for his sake."  He doesn't say anything.  He's not really struggling either.  I'd hear if he was. 

I'll figure that one out later.  More important things right now.  The phone beside me is ringing.  "Pick it up, Lilah."

She complies with a simple "Yes" into the receiver.  She shivers.  "It's for Linwood.  It's the senior partners."

"I thought it might be."  I nudge him with the knife point.  "Answer it."

She passes the receiver to Linwood.  "Yes… Yes, sir.  I understand… Yes, I'll tell her… Exactly as you say, sir."  He looks nearly as bad as Lilah.

"They agree to your terms.  Your package will be delivered to the main conference room in ten minutes." 
I close my eyes for just a few seconds.  No one needs to see what's going on in my head right now, least of all him.

"Love you, babe."

Love you more.

Baby:

Ten minutes.  I can't breathe.  Something's all squeezed inside my chest.  Ten minutes. 

Shouldn't have sent those lawyers away.  The two that set up the hit.  Should have kept one of those fucking lawyers here.  I know I want them to hurt for a long time.  But I should have kept one.  Maybe shouldn't have killed the clerk so early on.  Then I could kill one and maybe this feeling in my chest would lighten up. 

Nine minutes.  Oh God.

Please be all right.  Please, please.

Come back to me. 

If they screw this up, I'll kill every lawyer alive.

Eight and a half minutes.

Oh crap!  I hate waiting.  Especially now.  Okay, calm down.  It could be worse.  It could take days.  Ten minutes isn't long at all.  It's nothing.

It's just a fucking eternity. 

Seven and three quarter minutes.  Crap, crap, crap!

Angel

The Bitch is gonna pass out.  Or kill someone.  Or maybe kill someone and then pass out.

I should kill her.  But I'm not even really mad at her.  Well, no more so than normal.  No more so than just seeing her face makes me.  Should I be worried?  Probably.

Bitch pulled it off.  Can't believe it.  Made the senior partners dance to her tune.  Guess I danced, too.  Damn but she had this planned.  The girl must be hell in a poker game.  World class manipulation you did there, honey.

Didn't see it coming.  Any of it. 

Wonder if she really planned on doing it.  Wonder if she really planned on staking me? 

Keeps looking at her watch.  Pulling off her jacket now.  Throwing it on the floor.  Sweat stains the back of her shell.  Can see the gun holstered in the band of her pants.  Big knife in a shoulder holster.  Sweat showing on the front of her shirt, too.  Making it cling.  She's all jiggly.  Pacing.  Can't hold still.  Sheaths the small knife she killed the clerk with somewhere.  In her bra, I think.  You could hide a lot in there.  Must be a damn double D cup.  Big chest.  Soft.  White.  Got a lovely bloodstain across the top of her right breast.  Be nice to lick that off.

Stop it.  Cordy won't forgive you a second time.  She'll remove body parts if I do anything that stupid again.  Don't want the Bitch anyway.  It's just the blood calling.

Speaking of the Bitch, she's about to crawl up the walls.  The girl is wound tight.  Won't take much to send her right over the edge. 

Yeah.  If Linwood had pushed her to it, she'd have ordered me dead.  No doubt.

But she knew it wouldn't come to that.  She called me by name when she apologized.  If you can call that an apology.  Said she knew I was trying to be a good man. 

Shit.

Okay, I won't kill her.  Oh, be honest with yourself, Liam old son.  If you were going to kill her, you'd have already done it.  And it would have taken more than her six little boys to stop me.  They let me go the minute Linwood agreed to her demand.  Must have had orders what to do if the old bastard agreed.  They're keeping themselves between the two of us.  Watching me like a hawk.  She's making it hard on them with her pacing. 

I'm through their defenses with no more than a well-timed shove.  Yeah, boys, I'm fucking clan lord.  Big, nasty, master vampire.  And you're just babies.  Think about that before you threaten me again.  Have her by the shoulders.  "Calm down.  You're gonna give yourself a heart attack."

Well damn me!  Has herself wrapped around me like I'm the last friend she has.  Hell, maybe I am.  Wrap my arms around her, too.  "It's okay, sweetheart.  Just another couple of minutes."

Linwood's about to crap his pants.  Thinks he's been had by both of us, now.  Good.  Hope it keeps him awake nights wondering. 

Phone ringing makes the Bitch jump.  I nod to Lilah to answer it.  She hands it to her boss.  He just nods and hangs up.

"We're ready."

Bitch is pulling something out of her purse, letting the leather bag fall away to the floor.  Shit, it's a fucking Uzi.  She's ready for whatever they got, I guess.  Linwood better hope his senior partners came through.  She'll take him apart if they've just been fucking with her. 

Baby:

Open the damn door already!  Hurry. 

Oh God, help me.  Let him be okay.

Finally!  Get out of my way.

Oh.  Oh God. 

He looks so good.  All stretched out on the conference table.  Naked.  Every bit as perfect as I remember.  My Spike. 

Oh thank you, God. 

He's not breathing.  I don't see a pulse at his throat.  That's good.  His face looks so peaceful.  Like he's sleeping.  Feels so good to touch him.  To just put my hand on his cheek. 

Oh!  He's crushing my wrist!  His fingers are so strong.

His eyes!  He opened his eyes!

Spike:

Bloody hell. 

Where am I?  Lights are too bright.  Hurt my eyes.  Strange smells all around me.  Feel funny.

Who's this then?  Kill you if… Wait, I know you.  Know your smell. 

"Baby?"

Why are you crying, luv?  Who made you cry?  I'll rip their head off! 

Dove, I love to hold you but you're drenching me, sweet.  Here now.  Look at me.  That's right.  Look at your Spike.  Tell me what's wrong.

Smell my Sire.  Angel?  "What the hell are you grinning at, mate?"

Half the bleeding family is here.  Jean Claude's crying, too.  And grinning like an idiot.  What the hell is going on here?

And where the hell are my clothes?

Baby:

He's alright.  He's back and he's alright.  I can breathe again.  I can live again.

Got Spike into pants and a pair of boots.  It'll do until we get out of here.  He's a bit woozy and disoriented.  Not surprising.  I've got him around the waist on one side.  Jean has him on the other.  "Let's get out of here."  I motion to René and point at Linwood and Lilah.  "Bring those two.  They're our insurance till we get out of the building."

Pull the nearest fire alarm switch as we go by.  Fire the Uzi in the air.  "Out.  Everybody, get out!  Now!"

Lots of confusion in the stairwells.  If any of their muscle are around they can't get to us.  Angelus is running interference in the front and Rex has our backs.  Nobody's gonna get past that.  Humans are pushed out of the way as we barrel down the stairs.  We're careful that no one jostles Spike or touches him.  No ones gonna touch him ever again if I have anything to say about it.

Damn, Angelus.  Can't throw 'em over the side just because they're in a security uniform.  Oh.  Well.  I guess you can.  Man, when he says "out of the way", people listen.  Suppose the game face helps.  Yeah, looks like my boys are suited up, too.  We make a damn scary looking group.  It helps get down all these stairs.  It's a long way down. 

I'm tired of stairs now.

Across a too wide lobby and out into the night.  The Excursions are lined up waiting for us.  Ready.  Having trouble getting Spike into the back seat.  Angel just goes around and hauls him in from the other side and climbs in.  I pile in beside Spike.  Jean Claude in the front passenger seat shouting something in French at the driver.  Rex and René have the lawyers in the one behind us.  Rest of the boys in the other two.  We peel off.  Half a block, a block, another half a block.

"Stop!" The Excursions screech to a halt, blocking the street.

I put my hand out to Jean.  He drops the small black device into my hand.  "This is far enough.  It should do just fine."

We ignore the traffic honking at us as we climb out.  Spike's looking more like himself by the second.  The other SUVs are lined up behind us.  René pulls Linwood from the Ford as Rex drags Lilah around to me.

"Enjoy him while you can."  Lilah points to Spike with her chin.  She's all snarky now.  Feeling her oats.  "The senior partners won't just let you get away with this."

She's funny.  "Honey, at the rate I'm going, they're gonna ask me to join them."  Yeah, girl, I'm bad.  I'm not the Slayer and I'm not Angel.  I play for keeps and damn the consequences.  I kill people who get in my way.  I don't give a shit about redemption.  My redemption is the vampire holding my hand.  I'm harder than you ever thought of being.  Your senior partners probably have a little section of Hell all reserved just for me.  As long as they put Spike there, too, I don't care. 

They aren't gonna do shit 'cause they know I'll waste their little enterprise.  I have something set up so Wolfram and Hart gets it if I die.  They know that.  They'll never get the worms and the sleepers out of their computer systems. 

"Just one thing more and you two can go."  I make sure they're paying attention.  "Keep out of south Louisiana.  I find any one connected to Wolfram and Hart east of Houston and I'll send 'em back to you in pieces."

Spike is glaring at the lawyer.  He knows something's pissed me off.  I'll explain it all tonight, darling.  Linwood nods.  He knows I'm not playing.  Spike holding my hand and Angelus standing at my side helps.  Hope we give him nightmares.  Maybe I'll call him once in a while just to be sure he doesn't forget.

"Spike?  I have a present for you, baby."  I make sure he's facing back down the street as I push the button on the remote.

I watch the blossoming fireball that used to be Wolfram and Hart's building reflected in his perfect blue eyes.

Spike:

It's good to be back.  Back from the dead.

So that's what it's like to be dead.  Can't say I liked it one bloody bit.  Let's just say that Hell is not somewhere I intend to visit again any time soon.  Even for a demon like me it wasn't fun.  Worst bit was knowing I'd left Baby alone.  Knew she'd be worried.  Knew it would eat her up.  Was afraid it would kill her.  Was afraid it wouldn't.  Half expected her to join me.  I knew that after what I've made her, Heaven won't have her.  Some people are bound for Heaven and I'll never see them again when they're gone.  Others are bound for Hell.  Always said me and her were Hell bound for sure.  Knew I'd never see the Slayer again but I knew I'd see Baby. 

It's hard to believe I'm lying here on a mattress on the floor of Angel's hotel.  That I'm back.  That I'm alive.  Well, un-alive.  Undead. 

It beats the hell out of… well… Hell.

She says I've been gone over three months.  Ninety-five days.  Felt longer.  Feels good to be back.  Feels good to be wrapped in Baby's arms.  This is as close to Heaven as I'm going to get.  I dreamed of this when I was there.  Memories of times like this kept me sane.  Drove me insane.  Kinda went by turns.  Depended on the day and the torment.

But this is the real thing.  Not a memory.  Lying with my woman on a mattress in one of Angel's unfinished hotel rooms is too bizarre for even Hell to have come up with.  Yeah, I'm really back.  Because of her.  Don't know the details.  Just know that somehow she wrestled me out Satan's arms and into her own. 

I never imagined having a woman like that.  Someone who cared enough to bring me back.  To take on the lords of Hell themselves for me.

"I love you, Baby."

What's this then?  No smile for your Spike, dove?

Why are you crying, pet?  What are you apologizing for?  You just pulled me out of Hell itself, luv.  Don't think you have anything to apologize for.  "Dove, I can't understand a word you say when you get like this.  You're babbling, precious."  Between the tears and the accent, I can't make out what you're trying to say.  What's this about the Pouf?  What about Angelus? 

"I… oh God, Spike.  I'm so sorry."

What are you saying?

"I'm so sorry.  I… I fucked Angelus."

No.

"I let him bite me."

No!

"I'm so sorry."

Fuck!

Why, Baby?  Why would you do that?  Why would you let him touch you?  You've never let anyone else touch you.  Why would you start with him?  You know I don't like for anyone to touch what's mine but to let him put his filthy hands on you, particularly him…

"I'm so sorry.  Please forgive me.  Please don't send me away.  Please, I couldn't bear that.  Please let me stay with you.  I'm so sorry.  So sorry."

Bloody hell.  Why didn't I notice it sooner?  You smell like him.  I can smell him all over you.

But then this whole place smells like him. 

Shit!  Bloody fucking hell!  How could you?  "Just tell me what happened."

Slow down.  I can't understand you.  Damn it, woman, I'm the one who should be bleeding hysterical.  Slow down! 

"Show me his mark."  Alright.  I understand.  You wouldn't let him put his mark over mine.  His is distaff.  Secondary.  All right.  That's good.  At least there's that cold comfort.

What this?  Your neck's all black and blue.  I can see fingerprints.  What's the rest of you look like?  "Open your shirt."  Don't argue.  Just do it.  You're bruised all over.  Move your hands.  Don't hide yourself from me.  You've never hidden your body from me before.  Don't start now.  Move your hands, luv.  I have to see.  God!  There are bruises everywhere.  Angry purple marks all over your arms, your body.  Was it him?  Did he hurt you like this?  "Did Angel do this?"

You don't have to answer.  I've seen 'em often enough on Dru to recognize them.

The bloody bastard!

He couldn't just do it, the sadistic fuck.  He had to hurt you while he was at it. 

Look at me.  Look at me, love.  Don't hide behind your hair and don't lower your eyes.  Eye to eye, pet.  The way it's always been.  Look at me and tell me what happened. 

Get up.  I don't like seeing you on your knees.  I never have.  You don't have kneel to me.  Never kneel to anyone, pet.  You're subservient to no one.  "Come here and sit beside me."  That's my girl.  "Now tell me why this happened."  Talk to me.  "Why did you let Angelus bite you?" I can't say the other word.  It sticks in my throat.  Why the hell did you do it?

"Because if he bit me, he'd have to take responsibility for the children if anything happened to me."  I can barely hear her.

She's looking down again.  Hiding.  Damn it.  I don't want you to hide from me.  Maybe this is still Hell after all.

"And why would you be so worried about something happening to you?  You're not as old as all that, luv.  Nothing is likely to happen to you any time soon.  Besides, Jean would turn you if I wasn't there to do it." 

Unless…

"Baby, what had you planned to do if it didn't work out?  If I didn't make it back?  What were you planning to do?"

Don't cry, dove.  "Look at me."  Talk to me.  Stop hiding.

"Look at me!"

Sorry, babe.  I didn't mean to shout at you.  I know the answer any way.  "You were going to join me.  You were going to kill yourself, weren't you?"

That tiny nod rips my heart in half.  "Oh Baby.  It's alright."  Damn. 

I should have known.  She's sworn often enough that she won't live without me.  And Baby doesn't lie to me.  Not ever.  Shit.  She made sure our children would be all right so she could leave them with a clear conscience. 

She'd have done it.  Suicide.  Offed herself so she could be with me.  Bloody hell.  I really mean that much to her.

"I forgive you."  Is that what you want to hear? 

"I love you."  Is that what you need to hear?

Shhh, pet.  It's alright.  I'm not going to send you away.  I need you, too.  I'm not going to punish you.  Looks like you've done enough of that to yourself.  I am gonna have a talk with Angelus about these bruises, though.  A long talk.  One he won't like.  Preferably involving sharp implements.

Shhh.  "Kiss me, love."  That's my girl.  That's my dark dove. 

"You're still my girl, aren't you?" My pale rose. 

"Always."

My red and bloody rose. 

That's right, kiss me, luv.  Touch me.  Make it better.  Having you touch me makes it better.  For both of us. 

Oh Baby, that feels good!  Do that again.  Oh yes, dove.  Just like that.  I like it when you apologize this way.  Makes me want to forgive you for almost anything. 

Just one last thing, pet, and then we'll put this behind us.  "If you ever do anything like that again, I will punish you.  I won't enjoy it, but I will do it."

There, do you feel better now?  I can make you feel better.  I know how to make you feel better.  I can take away all the pain, all the hurt.  Make you forget it ever existed.

I'm gonna make you forget that Angelus ever touched you.  I'm gonna take his scent off of you, my heart.  I did it before and I can do it again.  You're mine.  You'll never need to think of him. 

Not ever again.

It's alright, dove.  Your Spike's back.  I'm back.  and he'll never touch you again. 

Oh, babe.  Love that.  Feels fucking great.  Damn, your mouth is nice.

Yeah, Baby.  It's good to be back.  So good.

Spike:

She's covered me in kisses and tears and remorse.  In love and caring and contrition.  In murmured words of penitence.  She's whispered her sins on my skin.  Prayed to me for absolution.  Prostrated herself on the alter of my body.  Sought forgiveness in the communion of our lovemaking.  She pulled me from Hell and she treats me as though I were her deity.  Maybe in her heart I am.  She makes me feel like I am.

Why am I still so angry?  So hurt?

Her skin is soft on mine.  Smooth where my hands slide over it.  She's warm where I'm still buried inside her, quiet now but still joined.  One.  My hand looks so white as it glides over the red hair spread across my chest.  Her hair.  Red because that's the color I like it.  This length because that's the way I like it.  Tattoo on her shoulder.  A railroad spike twined with roses.  Because I asked her to put it there.  I've made her what she is today.  Shaped her body.  Her mind.  Molded her into what I want.  Because she let me.  She turned herself over to me, body, mind, and soul.

She's mine.

That's why I'm angry.  He touched what's mine.  He marked what's mine.  No body marks her body but me.  Fucking Angelus tried to take what's mine.  Again.  There's blind rage whenever I think of him.  When I think of him touching her, hitting her.  I hurt because he hit her.  I hurt because she hurt.  Bloody buggering bastard beat her.  I want to kill him.  He hurt her badly. 

I hurt her badly. 

I left her all alone.  So alone she went to him.  God alone knows what it's been like for her these last months.  Holding the family together.  A human ruling a family of vampires.  Keeping everything going.  Searching for a way to bring me back.  Searching for a way to assure the children would be alright if she couldn't bring me back.  Planning for her own death if she couldn't.  Bloody hell.  It's a wonder she's the least bit sane.

The stress shows.  She's too thin.  She hasn't been eating.  I can feel her ribs as she lies atop me.  And the bones of her spine feel sharp under my hands.  She looks tired.  And not from what we were just doing though that was pleasantly exhausting.  Damned pleasantly exhausting. 

Her eyes look tired.

I want to go home.  I want to take her home and take care of her.  I want to be away from a place where everything smells like my grandsire.  I want to stand on the levee and watch the river flow while Baby tells me some nonsense or another about the latest household tragedy.  I want to be far away from the City of Angels, from Angel's city.  I don't want to be where I have to think about Angelus touching her.

I want to be in my own city.  I'm gonna take her home.  Tonight. 

She's looking at me.

"You should be asleep, dove."

"I have another present for you."  She's sitting up, straddling my hips.  Reaching over and pulling a shoe box from the floor beside the mattress.  It dislodges me from her body.  I miss the physical connection but I still feel joined, like she's part of me.  She's pulling out something; her fist wrapped tightly around it.  When she opens her hand there's a large jewel resting on her palm.  I recognize it.  It's not possible.

"That's the Ring of Amara."

She's shaking her head.  "No ring.  Just the jewel.  The Gem of Amara.  It works differently.  No invulnerability, no invincibility.  You can still get slashed up and bruised and stabbed.  Bones will still break.  You can still be hurt.  Still be killed.  But stakes and sunlight won't hurt you.  Fire won't burn you.  You'll heal faster.  You'll bleed less.  You'll be a lot harder to hurt.  Harder to kill.  They'll have to take your head or rip out your heart." 

Shit.

She's looking at me funny.  "It has to rest next to your heart." 

It feels heavy in my hand.  I can feel power radiating from it.  "How do I wear it?  It has no setting.  These things are a bitch if you lose them."

Reaching back into the shoebox she shows me a small dagger.  It looks like it's made of silver.  A pretty little toy. 

"Do you trust me?"

"With my life."  You just went through hell to bring me back, love.  I don't think you're likely to try and kill me just yet.

Oh shit, that hurts.  It's all right, sweetheart.  I've had worse.  Recently. 

Oh God.  I can feel her finger pushing the gem into my flesh.  Deeper and deeper.  Hear her voice muttering ancient words.  Ow.  Hurts when it goes between my ribs.  Bleeding fire inside my chest.  Burning me up inside.  Yeah, I'd say that's next to my heart.

Silence now.  Fire's fading.  Just a memory.

Don't cry, Baby.  It didn't hurt that much.  If it did, I wouldn't be so aware you're sitting right on my crotch and that you're not wearing a stitch of clothes.  Hm, having a naked woman shove gems into my body is a new experience.

"It's already healed."

The hell you say.  Well, so it has.  Just a tiny pink line to show what you did.

"Wanna see if it works?"

Sure, why not, pet.  I let her lead me to the window and pull back the heavy covering just a bit.  There.  A nice shaft of brightness.  Here we go.  It feels warm.  Soft.  Like her.  No smoke, no flames, just my pale flesh glowing in the light.  I jerk the curtain down letting the morning sunlight flood the room.

First she brings me back and now this.  Damn, you have to love a woman like that.  Have to. 

Never seen her in the sunlight up close like this.  Always stood in the shadows.  Watching from a distance.  Never seen how it shines through her fingers turning them translucent pink.  Never felt it warming her skin.  Never seen how it glints in her hair, turning it to garnet fire.  Never seen how perfect her flesh is when the sun glows on it. 

Sunshine.  It's damn near as bright as the light that shines from her eyes.  Nearly but not quite.

The room is bathed in sunlight.  Our bed is covered with it.  You know, I've never… Now there's a delicious idea.  Making love in the sunshine.  I wonder how it would feel.  Yeah.  Bet it would feel good.  Bet it would feel damn good. 

I think I'm gonna see what it feels like to make love to Baby in the sunshine.

Angel:

Didn't expect to see her yet.  I'm surprised the Bitch is up and around. 

"You're up earlier than I thought.  Where's Spike?"

I expected them to sleep all day.  I certainly didn't expect her to wander down here alone.  Christ, she reeks of Spike.  Has he done anything but screw the girl since we got back?  Probably not.

"He's asleep."  She keeps fidgeting with the stuff on Wes' bookshelf.  Uncomfortable.  Well, you should be, sweetie.  How often do you stand in a room with a man you threaten to kill just a few hours ago?  Come on, honey, quit fidgeting and get to the point.  There's got to be some reason you're here.  Spit it out.

"I wanted to tell you that I meant what I said earlier."  Oh, we're back to not being able to look me in the eye again.  Oh well.  "I mean about being sorry about having to use you against Wolfram and Hart."

"You mean about threatening to kill me?" Not like you to mince words, Bitch.

"Yeah, that's what I mean." 

That's better.  Honesty's about the only thing we have going for us, honey.  "Did you mean all of it?  The part about thinking I'm a good man?" That got her all pink.  I didn't think she was capable of blushing, capable of feeling embarrassed.

"Yeah, that, too.  You're a pain in the ass but you've helped a lot of people including me.  We just seem to…"

What?  "Hate each other?" That pretty much sums it up, I think

"Yeah." 

For once there's no sneer on her face.  She just looks tired.  I wonder what this is really all about.  I decide to make it easy on her for a change.  I think I'm tired, too.  "I gave you good reason.  For whatever it's worth, I'm sorry for what Angelus did to you back in Sunnydale."  There's that look.  The one that says she's not falling for that game.  Fair enough.  "All right.  I'm sorry for what I did to you in Sunnydale.  For… for raping you.  I hurt you terribly and I'm sorry."

She finally sits down and looks at me.  "Well, it took guts for you to say that.  Any way, I told you earlier that if you helped me, I'd forgive you.  I meant it.  I forgive you, Angel.  You can take assaulting me off the list of items you brood over."  Twisted sort of smile curves her lips.  "Besides, I hit you with a fire axe first."

Yes, you did.  Protecting Spike of all things.  That's what pissed me off.  "It hurt like hell, too."

Smiles a little broader now.  A little less twisted.  While we're making with the warm fuzzies here I have one more thing to get out.  "I want to thank you.  For what you told Cordy.  About consorts."

Now there's a full smile.  She doesn't look half bad when she smiles.  "I saw her mark when I came down.  So that's all working out for you?"

I'm the one smiling now.  "Yeah it is.  I think I like being a married man."  Ha!  I got her to chuckle.  "So, what now?  Are we friends?" That look says I'm pushing it.  I didn't think that was the right word either.  "Okay, how about not enemies."

She stands and sticks out her hand.  As I shake it, she agrees.  "Yep.  Not enemies."

"Baby?"

She jumped about a foot when Spike spoke and dropped my hand like it burned her.  Maybe it did.

His face looks frozen.  Hard.  I can see a muscle twitching in his jaw from here.  "I need you to go pack, Baby.  We're leaving."  His voice is just as cold as his face.  "And I'm hungry.  Could you fix me a mug and have someone bring it to me?"

Didn't know the Bitch could move that fast.  Spike stops her with an arm around her waist just before she can get out the door.  He's talking to her softly but I can hear him.  He knows it.  He wants me to hear him.

"I don't want you alone with him.  Alright?"

He has more control over her than I thought.  Bitch didn't say a word.  Just nodded and scurried out of here.  I'll never doubt his dominance over her again.  When it comes down to it, guess she jumps when he says to.  Guess he does smack her around enough after all.

I've been expecting this visit.  Knew once Spike's head was clear I'd have to see him.

"Baby and I are leaving.  We'll be gone as soon as she's packed and ready.  I have the boys up and packing already.  They'll all be out of here as soon as they finish.  We'll have your place cleaned up by midnight."  He can't bring himself to come into the room.  Just leans against the door jam looking somewhere behind me.

"Thanks."

Those blue eyes are completely icy when he finally looks at me.  "She's mine." 

Well, at least he got to the point quickly.  "No problem.  I relinquish all claim to her.  Don't want her.  Never did."

That raised eyebrow of his can say volumes.  "Damn funny way of showing it."

Insolent pup.  "She came to me.  She wanted my mark."  Did she ever want it!

"Yeah, that may be true but you didn't have to hurt her.  You lay a hand on her again and I'll kill you."

Fair enough.  But it's an old song.  "I've already heard this speech.  Couple of your children gave me this song and dance earlier."

Gives me an ugly smile.  "Good.  I was wondering how they could let you beat on their mama.  Who was it?  Rex?  René?" Digging in his pockets for something.  Ah, his cigarettes.

"Jean Claude and René."

"Should have known.  Those two travel in tandem on most matters."  Pauses to light a cigarette.  "What I said stands."  Takes a minute to gather himself up to say something else.  Covers it by puffing on the cigarette.  "You didn't have to hurt her."

Yeah?  Well, you weren't there.  Didn't see what she did to me.  How she played me.  "What can I say?   The Bitch set me off."

Ow!  Little fucker hit me! 

"Don't ever call her that.  You keep a civil tongue in your head when you talk about her."  My grandchild can look damn intimidating when he wants to. 

Unfortunately for him, I'm really hard to intimidate.  "You feel better now?  Got that out of your system?"

Ice is turning to fire.  He never was good at controlling his temper.  "No, now I intend to kick the shit out of you for hurting her.  No one hits Baby and get away with it."

"What?  Afraid she likes the way I beat her better than the way you do it?"  Okay.  I have anger management issues, too.  And I can't control my mouth sometimes.

What?  What's that look about? 

"I've never hit her."

Huh?  "What do you mean?" You're a soulless vampire.  "Of course you hit her."

"No, Peaches, I've never hit her.  Not once.  Not ever."  I can tell when Spike's telling me the truth and when he's lying.  He's telling the truth.

Holy shit!

His face is serious.  The look he gets when he means what he's saying.  The one that makes him look grown up.  I forget that he lived longer than I did as a human.  That he was older when he was turned than I was.  Until he looks like this.  Until he sounds like this.  Reminds me he was a damned aristocrat.  "I'm not you, Angel.  I'm nothing like you.  You never got that."  Oh, I got that.  "I don't particularly like hitting my women.  I never did.  I don't get off on it.  That's your thing, not mine."  Goes back to the north London accent.  "Surprised the Cheerleader puts up with it."

Anger flares.  How dare he assume that I'd do that?  That I'd be monster enough to hit her?  "I don't hit Cordy."

"Yeah?  Why's that mate?  You beat the shit out of Dru and Darla regularly.  Hell.  Me, too, whenever you could."  He's in full street punk mode now.

What Cordelia and I have is special, you little punk.  Don't put it into the same category with what Angelus did to Dru or with whatever twisted thing you have going with your human bitch.  "I'm not a soulless killer any more."

"Yeah, well I still am.  So what's that got to do with anything."  Got that insufferable superior smirk on his face.

"It means I love Cordy.  I'd never hurt her because I love her."  How dare he assume I'd hurt someone I love?

"Yeah.  Well, I love Baby."  He knows a good parting shot when he hears one.  He's gone before I can say another word.  Fuck.  He'd couldn't feel the same about the Bitch that I feel about Cordelia.  Could he? 

Could it be?  Have I been wrong all these years?  He was always kind to Dru.  The Judge said that they reeked of humanity, of love.  Shit.  Just because he's a vampire, I thought…. 

How dare I assume?

Spike:

Look on Angel's face was better than when I hit him.  Though that felt friggin' good, too.  Chew on that for a while, you bleeding pouf. 

Cordelia's standing just outside.  She hands me a mug of blood.  Human.  O negative, my favorite.  Right temperature.  Baby fixed it.  I can tell.

"Thanks, Prom Queen."  Wonder how much of what went on between me and Angel the Cheerleader heard?  Probably most of it.  She looks mildly pissed off. 

Here, what's this then?  Skimpy little top she's wearing shows a lovely new bite mark.  Well.  "Congratulations.  How's married life suiting you?"

"Pretty good.  How's being undead again suiting you?"

She's all snarky and sarcastic.  What did I do to set her off this time?  Thought I was being bloody pleasant.  "What's got your knickers in a twist?"

Jerks her head toward the stairs.  "Next time you yell at Angel, you might want to clean your own house first."

Okay, analogy is not Cordelia's strong suit.  But I think she's referring to the fact that Baby is sitting half way up the stairs looking like a kicked puppy.  I'm beside Baby before Prom Queen can even notice I'm moving.

"What's wrong, pet?"

She's back to not looking at me.  Staring at her feet.  Thought we were past that.  "Dove?"

"I'm sorry.  I didn't mean to make you mad at me."

"What are you talking about, luv.  I'm not mad at you."  This is making me bleeding head hurt, rose.

"I just needed to talk to Angelus.  We were just talking.  I swear, that's all."  Her eyes are frantic when she does look at me.  "I won't ever let him touch me again.  I promised you."

Oh hell.  Me and my mouth.  "You thought I was mad at you because I found you with alone with Angel?  You thought I was afraid you were?  What?  Putting moves on him?" I want to laugh.  "I don't want you alone with him because I don't want him to have a chance to hit you again.  I don't trust him."  Lift her chin and kiss her delicately.  "But I do trust you.  I love you and I trust you.  If I didn't we wouldn't be going home together." 

Spilled my mug of blood all over her top when she grabbed me, she did.  That's… nice.  Hmm, that gives me an idea….

Cordelia:

Oh now that's just disgusting.  "Hello.  Standing right here.  I can see everything you're doing."  Yuck.  Come on, guys!  "Hey!  No sex in public."

Oh God!  He didn't just….  Ew.  That's just… nasty.

I wonder if Angel would like to try that?

Whoa.  Strong arms grabbing me from behind.  Wrapping around me.  Hello, Angel.  Oh honey, that's nice.  Oh.  Oh my.  Oh. 

I guess you would like to try that!

Chapters: | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 |

Epilogue

Spike:

"So he's completely insane then?" He certainly looks it.  Blighter's drooling and gibbering like a Bedlamite.

Baby's nodding.  She's not happy about it.  She wanted him to last longer.  Wanted to make him hurt at least as many days as I was in Hell.  It's no fun torturing the insane.  They don't really notice you're doing it, you see.

Can hear the chains hanging from the warehouse rafters clink softly in the breeze coming up from the river.  It's hot.  Oh well, New Orleans in August is nothing if not hot.  And damn humid.  My bloody shirt's sticking to me.  And I don't even sweat.  It's condensation.  I've been in the air conditioning and my body is cooler than the humid air.  Same thing that's made Wesley's glasses fog up.  Baby's covered in a sheen of perspiration.  There's a dark patch on her shirt right between her shoulder blades.  Wesley looks like he's gonna pass out.  This climate's a bitch on my fellow Englishman.  Makes me glad I'm a vampire. 

"I'm a bit unclear on the whole scenario.  Exactly why did this man hire someone to torture and kill you, Spike?"

Guess we never did explain before we left Los Angeles.  I was in a bit of a hurry, alright, mate?  Wanted to get home.

"He's a drug lord.  Works out of Cincinnati, if you can believe it!  Sells some very impressive, very nasty shit up there.  Sells stuff that will hook demons as well as humans.  Magical shit in addition to the usual crack, heroin, and what not.  Gets 'em well hooked."  Yeah, well, look who's hooked now, fucker.  My old lady has you hung up like a piece of meat.  Like a side of beef at the slaughter house.  "Wanted to move in.  Bring the stuff straight into the port of New Orleans and distribute it up and down the river.  It's a good plan.  Not very original but a good plan.  Trouble is, this territory's already taken.  He and his associates had themselves a nice little turf war all planned.  Trouble is, the current owners of the territory are loyal to me.  Part of the family." 

Take a puff off my cigarette.  Look out at the blue sky.  Still amazed at this walking around in the daytime thing.  Should have seen Wesley's face first time he saw me do it!  Ha.  Glory days!  He's promised not to tell Angel.  There's nothing the Pouf can do about it but I don't feel like listening to him rant.  Neither does Dru's Watcher.

"So this was all about a drug war?  You're controlling the flow of contraband through the city now?"

Oh get over it, Watcher.  "Not really.  Just keep an eye on things.  Accept the occasional bit of tribute.  Maintain a certain amount of order.  I am Master of the bloody city after all.  This isn't Sunnydale.  There's more going on here than just a hellmouth.  That's way the hell out in the Atchafalaya swamp.  Got it's own cult what keeps an eye on it.  I give 'em a hand if they need it.  I get more grief from the loonies messing with Marie LaVeau's grave.  Some idiot's always trying to steal her remains.  Do you have any idea of the curse that would be unleashed on the whole bleeding country if that happens?" Grind out my cigarette.  "What?  Just because Angel doesn't look after everything that goes on in L.A.  doesn't mean I don't take my job seriously."

Wes is sort of cute when he's confused.  Reminds me of Dru.  All big eyes. 

"That still doesn't explain why he came after you."

"Yeah, well, he messed with some people that have close ties to us."  Yeah, René's human mama and papa.  Messed with what one of my children considers his property.  Pissed off my son.  Family, Wes, old man.  It's all that matters.  We protect our own.  "I gently warned him off.  Told him to take it over to Biloxi or Mobile.  Bastard decided I was standing between him and his drug pipeline.  So he got in contact with Angel's favorite law firm and the rest you know.  Claudia and my girls had him back here before Baby and I ever got in from L.A."

"What are you going to do with him?"

"Dunno.  He's not any fun this way.  Sort of takes the whole purpose away."  Hmm, maybe I can come up with another use for him, though.  "Send him back to his people."

"What!" Baby's adorable when she goes off.  "He had you killed!  He's only been here six weeks!"

Yeah, well, six weeks for Baby's attention is damn near equal to three months in Hell.  Hell never broke me, not the way she and the children have broken this poor bastard.  All the things they've done to him and she's managed to keep him alive and conscious for most of it.  I know she's been sending little non-essential bits of him to his people.  Well, of course, I wouldn't consider his testicles and penis non-essential little bits but she apparently did.  Understand she sent that straight to his boss.  Make sure the whole chain of command knows they fucked up when they came messing about in my town.  Of course, I understand she sent one testicle back to Linwood at Wolfram and Hart just as a remembrance.  Along with the heads of his two former employees.  She is a jewel.

But she's finally driven him clear off his gourd.  "It's all right, pet.  Think of how his business associates will react to seeing him.  Send them a real clear message."

"You don't fuck with Spike."

She's quick, my little love is.  "Yeah.  And if they somehow manage to cure, give him back his sanity, well, we'll just have to catch him for you to play with again."

Damn, it's hot.  Nearly time for the daily three o'clock rain storm, too.  "Let's get out of here.  It's too hot and Dru is probably missing Wes by now.  You two look like you could use something to drink.  Tell you what, we'll have drinks at the Monteleone and then dinner at Brennan's, tonight.  Dru will like that."  Throw my arm over Baby's shoulders.  Feels just right.  "Come on, Baby, let's go get Wes an ice tea."

"Ice tea?"

"Watcher, you have no idea what you've been missing.  This is the South, old son.  Down here we drink our tea as sweet as our two lovely ladies thighs and as icy cold as Darla's tits.  It's bleeding wonderful."

Yeah, it's damn good to be back.

~Fini~